Young love, Young life

Biggest apology

2012-02-22T23:22:00.000-08:00

I know I lack entries but I'll rekindle this blog soon enough.

I need time though. I have not completed my Korea part 2, I saved it. There's 6 parts, 5 parts to go. I have the cruise and maybe in between I can blog about Afa. Heh!

Late night "snack"

2012-02-16T05:43:00.000-08:00

I can't sleep. No, I swear this is not insomnia. This time, I know it's me. It's weird to admit that I'm the one causing myself not to sleep. This incredulous "disease" must have eat up all my membrane because I'm assuming that my senses have gone berserk.

My eyes are currently very coarse by the cold molecules from the air-conditioner. For the past few weeks, the weather was scorching hot and I couldn't sleep with my back full of sweats. No, I can actually, I chose not too. Heat is a powerful energy. You can fall sick easily if you do not take good care of yourself especially if you don't hydrate.

I sound like a scientific moron. The pathetic brainiac scientists. Ok now I sound boastful. Why are words convincing? It gets harder and harder to elucidate.

A few minutes ago, I was happily blabbing (and mostly gossiping) on the phone with Afa. We had a "discussion" about someone whom we just met, not long ago. I realized that I have been very "friendly" towards new people. I am intrigued to find out exactly why is it that my acuity never respond to what my mind is thinking or my heart is speaking. Maybe because my body language can acumen better? Or is my mind and heart are too caught up with adversity to react to new people?

Anyway, like they always say...

"Never judge a book by it's cover"

I have always forgotten about this idiom every time I decided to be judgmental. Somehow, first impressions do really last, and I can somehow predict that someone's intention can loomed to be somewhat queer.

Opps, pardon me for today's entry. I'm in the mood to blog. Thus, it explains why I articulate impressively well. Again, don't mind me for boasting because that's what I usually do about half of the time every time I speak with anyone.

Back to my story.

To make it all understandable, let's pretend my new friend here is A.

I endeavored to scrutinize A's relevant website discreetly and diabolically found a cynical piece of evident. My expression? Beyond flabbergasted. How can we be bewitched by A's daunting intentions? I was pretty much ascertain that I caught myself reading the particular piece of information that I couldn't hide it any longer so I regurgitate what I've seen to Afa. I am only trying to forfend the other party, I wouldn't be in so much trouble, right?

Opps, I heard noises. It is probably Mummy. I better get going. I don't want to continue this insalubrious habit.

Good day!

Best friend, boyfriend, brother, father?

2012-02-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

Upon hanging up, I pondered on for a while. What about him feels so different? I couldn't decide what other noun that is able to describe him.

Apart from the obvious fact, Afa is like my best friend. Pros and cons. He understands what I feel, knows when my mood changes and never get upset with it. However, he never really show interest to what I adore. Clearly, he is of different gender but it would be nice to know that he has some "knowledge" of it.

We do have our similarities. Like we agreed that our favorite actor is Jason Statham (UNDENIABLY HOT!) and how Arnold Schwarzenegger used to have the fabulous muscles - because everybody in my house claimed he is fat now. We liked Justin Bieber's love songs. Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato are the hottest singers, for now. I recently showed him China Anne Mcclain's version of "Dynamite" which he hasn't given any thoughts.

Just like a normal best friends would do, we watched movies together, asked each other opinions about a lot of things (especially attire!!) and the most obvious fact, to talk on the phone every night (albeit now it has reduced). The only phrase I've been dying to say is.... "We do almost everything together". That is what keeps us apart.

As a boyfriend, Afa has been lovely. He does his responsibilities quite well. I know, we're only in a relationship, what responsibility does he have? Well, let's just say he did what he is supposed to. And as a man of the house, I think he'll pass ;)

He stood up for me like a brother, advice me like a father. He scored much better than my father because I loathe guys with dramatic issues. And yes, my father has major dramatic issues. I can never tolerate his nonsense. However so, I did not agree I hate him.

Having someone like Afa really completes my life - best friend, boyfriend, dependable brother and father. I know when he is around, I do not need friends to tell me that "You gotta live life to the fullest" or "Life is all about finding happiness for yourself" because I know he IS my life.

I don't know why the sudden emotion but I feel that I do not cherish him sincerely and I'm assuming that by posting an entry will help me to ease the burden.

We've been together for 2 years and 5 months now. I know this is it.

P/S: I know Afa's gonna read this about a month after I post this.

Finally done

2012-02-08T22:16:00.000-08:00

I am satisfied with what I did albeit the simplicity. I do not have any likings to fanciful skins because I find it distracting. Well, I do like them but only to a certain extent, yes I don't mind. I wanted rotating pictures as banners so badly! But I couldn't achieve the "rotating" part just yet. AND I find it too common to place a protrait of myself as banner.

I know the outcome isn't what it is said to be. I tried to achieve to the best of my ability but to no avail SO I shouldn't have stop there right?

I want to improve some of the features. Any suggestions?

"Sneak Peek"

2012-01-17T21:17:00.000-08:00

I have decided to change my blog skin (again) because I realize that since I'm getting older I do not need an infantile skin which may make visitors assume that I'm a little childish.

AND AS THE TITLE MENTION, I AM GOING TO TELL YOU A FEW THINGS THAT'S GONNA CHANGE (Or I hope to make amendments of - I prefer some suggestions)..

For real?!

I know not a lot of bloggers don't really change their blog skin every time and this may seem a little mundane because I've been changing them regularly but I feel so excited to share this with you guys. I've been getting ideas from different websites (even those not relevant to blogging) and I've realize that you need something that suits you and your character.

I have varying interests. This makes it so hard for me to stay faithful to one skin. I have decided to construct a skin that reflects my character and a few of my interests or adoration in order for me to really really stay faithful to it. I know my past blog skins were done out of interests (because I have varying interests), that's why I got agitated when I don't change it.

I recently love the color pink.

I am going to clarify this before someone makes a judgement out of it:

I SIMPLY LOVE THE COLOR PINK. IT DIFFERS FROM "FAVORITE COLOR". I have been loving blue since small and I am never changing my color blue because blue reflects my personality. Recently, I realized that pink only reflects my characteristics because obviously, I am a girl and I don't favor boys-related things. Afa keep telling everyone I'm a boring person, just because I don't watch movies like Transporter, Transformer (I CANNOT KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THESE 2 MOVIES & I CAN EASILY GET MIXED UP!) and other annoying movies.

For your information, Karate Kid was the first fighting movie I've watched. JUST because I heard there's Jackie Chan (one of my all time favorite actor) and Jaden Smith (undeniably cute!). Well, I might have watched other fighting movie but I don't remember one thing so, what the heck. I do watch ghost stories, and some brutal ones. I don't have a fear of watching something close to "gross".

Ok........... where was I?

Since I've started to like pink, it is going to be my main color. Well, it's not really main because I'm dividing it into 2 parts. AH WHAT THE HECK??? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SHARE WHEN I CANNOT EVEN EXPLAIN?!

No, I am not giving up.

I am in considerations whether, or not, to remove links of my friends because I do not find them blogging even though I've removed a few bunch of them. But those who still do gets affected right? Hmmm.... Even if I do completely remove them, I only have my archives left and the 3 icons - facebook, twitter & tumblr.

I need suggestions on that. Hais

1 thing not gonna change... MY COLOR CHANGING NAME!

Maybe, just maybe I am gonna do a rotating image but I am still in considerations.

So, do you guys have a better idea of what it's like?

It's very simple, by the way.

2012

2012-01-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I would like apologize for my absence since December 4.

I know not everyone is going to bother but I honestly can't blog as much as I did this few months because I have been using my parents' computer (which is blatantly inside their room) because everyone in the house believes that I was the victim who damage the laptop. Seriously, what proves do they have? I only deleted the polluted pictures that deteriorate the system.

I expected a sincere "Thank you".

As the title mention, Happy new year everyone! Everyone deserves a good wish for a start albeit new years past 13 days ago.

New Year's Resolution?

I do have one or two new year's resolution but seriously, does it matter? I mean everybody knows it is only something you WISHED you would do, not something you WILL do. Right? But if you hang it on every wall of the house then MAYBE it'll work out. What's the point for someone to cogitate on new year's resolution on the 31th of December of each year with no outcome? Absolutely nothing. Don't bother wasting time.

Scrap that.

Few days ago I received a letter from ITE informing me that I am awarded the certificate of merit. Basically means I am on the top 5% list. No, I'm not trying to boast even though I am very complacent. But that's not the point. Point is, there'll be a graduation ceremony for all COM receivers. Which also means, I'M GONNA HAVE 2 FREAKING GRADUATION CEREMONIES IN A YEAR!

TAKE THAT!

How awesome can school life gets? They say I'll be getting around $1000 too? I don't know, I'm not too sure.

I didn't have any graduation ceremonies back when I was 12 and 16. No experiences, nothing, zero, gone. I am always sighing out of happiness and curiosity. I have no experiences, and I'm always very curious.

I am looking for an office long-sleeved black dress for my graduation on 21st Feb. Yes, there's protocols. Breaching of regulations results in serious circumstances such as NOT ALLOWED IN. So have to follow. Hais.

I would love some recommendation about the black dress I've described.

Thank you, hehe.

K la, something proper to end.

GOODNIGHT!

A new one!

2011-12-04T19:14:00.000-08:00

Yes, I know. A new skin?

Well, to be honest. I am very fickle especially when it comes to creativity and well...inspirations. I've always wanted pastel colors on my skins. Yes I do have them now but I have yet to decide how to present it.

It took me about 2 hours and a half to really complete this. I am still not satisfied though. I still feel the urge to do some amendments. But should I?

I am always very fastidious about this. AND I am still considering about changing my tumblr and twitter skins too.

I don't want something mundane although I prefer simplicity because everyone has "black and white" themes for their skins and I do not wish to stand in their proportion. I rather take ideas into deliberation than assuming everyone's gonna think it is nice or what I think will attract them. Or if it attracts them for the wrong reasons.

Well..now I just wish for some ideas. Anyone?

19th B Day

2011-11-09T21:54:00.000-08:00

It's very annoying when you wished you were 18 but you realized you're just getting older. So my sister just turned 19 and well............. nothing's changed.

Ok lah, I'm not being very considerate. Although she have some sense of...................................... NO! I still don't think she changed!

You're thinking I must be very mean right???? HAHAHA

So there she is...... Still as childish as before.

If you asked me how much have she grown........

Well, to be honest. a lot.

I used to think she was such a stupid coward big sister. I had that perspectives towards her because she wasn't as strong as she is now. She was afraid to voice out, too afraid of her life style that she had to struggle. She never want to get out and feel free. She was controlled. She was....... she was not what she is today.

Strong, compassionate, aggressive, benevolent woman who is able to acumen the reasons behind every obstacles swimming in her life. I remember the days when I pampered her with macdonald's vanilla ice cream cone when she fell down the drain. I had to paste plasters for her.... it was my adventure of taking care of someone very dear to me.

I wouldn't be surprised of how I would be taking care of my parents in the future. I mean, you'll know when you should react in a certain way to determine how someone's expression would turn out right? Just because you've experienced it, doesn't really matter if it's once or twice, doesn't it? Even if my sister is two years older than me, and my parents are like........... 20/21 years older than me, it still doesn't make any difference to how I "take care" of my parents........

AM I MAKING SENSE NOT???

Don't give a damn, if you know English, you've been to school right? So you at least understand a word or two I'm saying. Ok lah, I digress from the main thing.

Should start wishing her, can't spend my whole life making a fool out of her right??

Ok, happy birthday!

That's enough lah hor?? HAHAHAHA

Korea Part 1

2011-11-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

****I have decided to break it into a few parts because it will very very VEEEERRRRYYYYY draggy and I think it will blatantly bore you to death because no one really bothers to read 90% of what people blog... which gives me an idea that all of you are dumb ass self centered freaks because ironically reading helps to gain your freaking knowledge AND SOMETIMES.... people do blog about knowledgeable stuff but you just couldn't care. Then you blame about 90% of the bloggers here because all we do is posting nonsensical beliefs FUCK YOU YOU DON'T EVEN BOTHER TO READ!****

No pun intended lah just my perspectives. But it's freaking true.. don't you really really think so??? K lah I'm like one of the 90s who blog 'bout something very senseless.

Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot!

My trip to Seoul was fucking AWESOME!

I was in a lamentable state at first because it was my very first time travelling ALONE. Ok I didn't literally travel alone. It was a school overseas trip so I went there with my friends. Other than that, Afa was late.

Terrible.

We didn't manage to hug and bid our last bye bye.. Then people will start commenting "It's only a week's trip. Not even a year. Why bid goodbye for?"

Does it make sense? Ok lah, it does lah. BUT I FIND IT VERY ABSURD THAT YOU DON'T EVEN SHOW YOU CARE FOR THAT PERSON. AND I'M NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT RESPECT JUST YET!!!!!

Choi touch wood lah hor, but what if I couldn't make it back to Singapore and my last hug to Afa was........................... ummmm decades ago? Pfft talk some sense lah people. You guys want to challenge my sarcasms then think of something very very relevant lah. Common sense. Tsk!

Afifah and Joyce saw my tears dripping from my eyes. And Afa should be thankful because I wasn't very pissed with him because after numerous reminders, he was still late.

I've got a very bad temper. That's the drawbacks of being my friend. I will just vent my anger on you HAHAHAHA now still think I should be your girlfriend? -.-

I didn't took any pictures inside the plane. Because first, FIRST-TIMER WHAT!!!!!!! SO VERY JAKUN, MUST UNDERSTAND HOR! >.< HEHEHE. Second, it says so by the electronic tv on every seats. They announce it at the pa system some more so must obey. Because it is very very disrespectful to disobey the protocols of other countries. Heh!

So this is the..................................... what airport is this? Ummm.. Ok my bad. I forgot. That's me in white. Look at my long B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L HAIR! Weeeeeeeeeeeeee~

The tour guide brought us for lunch first. So it was Udon. Udon is not even Korea lah. Right?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

They have one bottle of plain water on every table. It's like a trend or something? O.o
That's Tracy? I think. Couldn't remember... don't even bother too. Hek!
The right bowl is filled with kimchi. Kimchi is a tradition fermented Korean dish made of vegetables with varied seasonings and believe it or not....... there are 100 different kind of kimchi!

I don't even know how the Koreans ask for kimchi.

**I am so freaking lazy to edit the pictures cause as long as you can see it then it's fine. If not, sorry but you gotta torture your eyes for a bit. "I might as well stop reading!" Then by all means THANK YOU**

My battery died on me so I had a few pictures for day 1.

We went to this place.. AIYA DON'T CARE LAH! JUST LOOK THE AT FREAKING PICTURES. I get agitated when I can't remember a thing. Bleargh..

Kimchi making was next... I guess?

Then we were brought down to wear the heonbok (is this even the way it's spelled?). Then to the supermarket then to this place to learn about the history of North and South Korea and the DMZ thing.

I can't even remember a thing and this is just getting on nerves so pardon me for the lack of enthusiasm.

But don't fret..... more parts to come. Hek hek hek!

I should just do 6 parts for each day. That'll be exciting. Worth the wait.

"Just summarize all lah, why waste your bloody time?"

It isn't about wasting time. It's about ORGANIZING AND BEING NEAT DICKHEADS! Urgh.

Halloween is my dad's 48th.

2011-11-01T20:59:00.000-07:00

I know, it's been months.. my fault for procrastinating BUT I'LL MAKE IT UP!

Just stay tune (why does it sound so radio-ish? Lol) because I'll be updating about my trip to Seoul, South Korea and CRUISE!

I do not have much time to blog because I think blogging through phone doesn't satisfy my emotions and it affects my mood to blog. And typing it through a touch-screen phone is BLATANTLY very tiring. Tell me who would want to blog stupid long foolish entries over the phone?!

Let me remind you I WILL NEVER BLOG VERY SHORT SHORT ENTRIES. If I would then why did I create twitter for?

OMG ok I feel like a betrayer because..........................................................

I FUCKING OWN A TUMBLR ACCOUNT!

I know I've blogged about how much blogger mean to me and such but I gave it a lot of thoughts and well.. tumblr has been very amazing and understanding with photographs. I mean you express a lot of emotional............. "adventures" through pictures.

And since I only blab (with words) at blogger then why not just create tumblr?

And what's shocking then realizing I HAVE A TWITTER ACCOUNT UNKNOWINGLY FOR 2 YEARS. So I decided to start twitting. Heh!

OMFG DON'T YOU THINK SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED?!

Changes.................

I've changed A LOT. I've been very very very exuberant and delightfully mischievous, contented but sometimes morose (boohoo!) about little things. Ok lah, who won't get disappointed about little things that pokes your nerves right? But life's been great. It's a fun ride.

I experienced a few riotous rides like HOW A FUCKING IDIOT SOME OF MY FRIENDS COULD BE but that's just life... that's just the freaking life EVERYONE has to go through and ponder on about how they should handle it and how they should avoid it.

Am I making sense? Guess not, I must have been spitting nonsense since I start typing. Urgh.

My emotions are still utterly confused though. Yes that's life what the fuck.

Ok so a few days back I had a small talk with my class adviser (that's teacher for small kids, and by small kids I meant sec/pri school kids. HAHAHAHA OK SORRY!) about what I want to do after graduating. I told her I want to stretch my education as long as I possibly can.. and that I've chosen events for my next course. She told me I need to have active knowledge, able to produce efficacious progress and a remedy of great efficacy.

AND IRONICALLY I AM FUCKING INTROVERT!

A bit shy shy like that what the fuck how am I supposed to get that course? But I have good self-esteem. Considered not? Hahahaha!

But I am very stubborn, I love challengers and I would love to experience how an organizer's life would be so I AM going to give a try. I have my own aim, mission and if I can't fulfill it then what will I become in the future? Right?

Wah, so good. Very motivational, inspiring advice I made..... FOR MYSELF! Sooooo funny. tsk.

Ok lah, must wait for Afa to come. Time check.......... 8:58pm and where is he?

P/S: FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER&TUMBLR!

WITH LOTS OF LOVE I FOLLOW K? MUAH

Omg finally!

2011-10-15T12:21:00.000-07:00

Doesn't it feel like a year since I last blog? Well.. yes it does to me. A plethora of good memories happened but I couldn't find a day or two to sit down and ponder on sentences to blog about.

I have decided to revamp my blog and make it simple but I know I will be changing it over and over again very soon so what the heck.. who am I kidding? Yes, I just decided to change it but right now I'd prefer something very very simple. I cogitate a lot about my prodigy and don't you think it's always lacking of creativity? I don't know where to begin but my artistic talent had deteriorate ever since I step into a world of complication which pretty much started about two to three months ago.

Just don't get me started about my life.. it will not be easily understood.

Fashion police is a very discriminative variety show and I couldn't believe myself because I wasted an hour of my time watching them criticising other celebrities and their fashion. And Joan was wearing a fur over a long sleeved glittered leather top and she thinks that's ok? I'd rather eat carbs than see her wearing animals over her.

If fashion is such a wrong thing then I suggest a plain old jeans and tshirts for everyone to wear to everything - dates, meetings, wedding occasions.

I don't support nor steoreotype. I just find discriminative shows very abusive to make jokes out of what make us feels comfortable.

I don't wish to continue judging shows so maybe I shall conclude the end of this. Or maybe not. Hahaha! I'll just leave this hanging.

I feel so uneasy

2011-09-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

I know I should be happy for next week.. but, I am starting to feel uneasy so quickly. And I wonder why I am missing him so badly. I really cannot see myself not contacting him for a day.

Even if I combine super bombastic words to make out what I am trying to convey, I will still make you confuse. And if I don't let it out, I feel so damn restless. But who am I supposed to let it out on when all I trust is my little red beating heart?

I don't why the sudden emotion and I really need an explanation to it.

It's what I wanted

2011-09-11T01:22:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I can leave this thing.. I just grew up with it.
I need to leave Facebook, I need to leave Blogger. Because these things brings back memories. I don't want to keep crying. It's going to be hard, especially leaving this blog behind.

It's time.
Maybe I'll just leave this space alone. I can't delete it, too precious.
Maybe when I've done realizing, I might be blogging again. Let my dear God decide how it should be done. Bleagh..

What's wrong?

2011-09-10T06:22:00.000-07:00

I have been missing my past life. But what's new is, I figured out that maybe my time out would bring me into something more meaningful to life. But duh, I have to get out from my past. Damn shit.

Ok I am so hungry.

This is bad.

2011-09-08T08:30:00.000-07:00

Studies dropping, fever getting worst and it is almost two weeks.
What really happened? Tsk!

Oh, time to find the old Efah. Damn, where is she hiding? Exams, projects due next week. Please come back.

Oh and.. I love you. Still:)))

When the truth actually hurts.

2011-09-07T21:39:00.000-07:00

My mind always know when I'm alone.

Why is it so hard to let it all go? The disappointment, the anger, the sadness.. everything!

Why am I so hurt? Why am I so confuse? When I know the answer to my next love is.. never.

Why do I still have to keep looking back? And the same freaking time I always have to wonder where do I stand in your heart?

Just tell me, who am I to you? Tell me, where do I stand? Just why did you choose to care for me? It hurts to keep pretending to be happy, when seeing your face was all the happiness I longed for. Why am I not confident enough to remind myself I am the one you want? Maybe I was to afraid you would stood me up.. like I did to you.

I didn't know that it would turn to love.. because knowing the truth absolutely hurt.

Why am I so hurt? Why did I change into someone else? Tolerating hurts, knowing the truth hurts, pretending hurts.. it hurts even more when I know I'm hurt. :(

What hurts the most..

2011-09-05T07:47:00.000-07:00

I can't see myself concentrating anymore. My body keep dying and dying. I couldn't even walk properly. I almost fainted on the floor of Marina Square. I had to force myself to walk and pretend nothing happened. I can't accept the fact that I am almost dying in pain of... something.

What is wrong with me? I am the girl who usually eats burger twice in a week and gain a few grams, the girl who sleeps every now and then, the girl who is strong in all circumstances but why.. all of a sudden I'm falling? I am suddenly so rebellious and the surrounding annoys me almost every second of my freaking life.

I suddenly feel like starting my stupid habits from the past back. I can't help it, it haunts me almost everytime I sleep. I am always having nightmares of people, very weird people.

I have scratches on my face. I am still in dubious because I can recall clearly that I didn't try to hurt myself. These are the times when I am feeling really very low and my mind just keep asking for foolish things like nics and alcohols. No matter how hard I tried to refrain myself from those, I knew one day it will happen. But to my utmost surprise, I am after all the strongest girl in all circumstances but why the sudden alterations?

How do I keep myself moving when the only thing that heats me up is you?
The mother fucking tests you were talking about? It didn't make any complete sense.

I know I am strong, it is just hiding somewhere within me. But I hope that it didn't literally kill me.

I'm hurt. I don't know when will it all end. But I'm hurt, and I know I'm struggling. Well.. I'm just too hurt.

Liar liar.. pants on fire

2011-09-05T01:17:00.000-07:00

I was reminded not to trust what lame excuses your ex-boyfriend tell.
But even so, I'm glad I threw away the rings. It was heartbreaking.. but frankly, I felt better.

Don't throw it into the seas, because they are for love that lasts eternally.
Don't throw it into the bin, because you are able to find it again.
Throw it with your eyes close, because you don't know where it'll end up to.

So boy, I shouldn't trust your words when you said you were sick. Believe me when I said I knew it was all plain lies.
Those lame excuses were used over and over again.

Like they all say, boys will always be boys.

Don't take things too lightly..
Don't say things too freely..
Get it?

Maybe when you're done, you end up realizing karma is really a fucking bitch.
Oh and.. I love you!

If you already know who I am.. I am always as bad as.. I don't know.. you? Hahaha!

Cause it's time..

2011-09-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

Notice anything different? No? Then you're blind.

Apart from my site changed almost drastically.. my relationship with Afa literally drop. Not boasting, but just trying to share. We officially ended our thing.. saddening though.

Well.. life moves on.

My friends suddenly come running back to me. Oh opps.. my "friends". They are seriously getting on my nerves. I already feel like killing myself and here they come expecting some thing from me. So my exams are around the corner and I just can't wait for something else. Brrrrrr!

Anyway, I am always not in the mood now because every little thing irks me so badly that it affects my mood ultimately. Aiyooooo..

Why now?

2011-08-21T21:27:00.000-07:00

When will it be? Wait? Yes, I can wait. But can you?

Why is it so hard for me to forget you? Why can't I accept the fact that I'm not the one you want. Why do you miss her more than me? Why do you want someone you know never want you back? Why use me to forget her? :(

I'm sorry to hear your feelings. I'm sorry if I've hurt you. I'm sorry you had to suffer whenever I feel down. I'll try my best to make you happy, because you'll be happy as long as I am, right?

Why do I have to go through this? Please understand how I really feel.

I want you. :(

Just curious.

2011-08-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

I couldn't sleep. My eyes won't shut.
I suddenly want some nic!
But.. no money!
What's the strongest?
Gosh, I am so curious. I just need some nic.

Dear You, a.k.a Liar

2011-08-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

You really never fail to impress me.

Why do you say you love me?
Why do you say you care?
Why do you tell me you miss me?
When all you do is kiss those other girls...

If you love me, you'll take whatever it is to have me.
If you love me, you wouldn't have say you've given up.
If you love me, you'll want me.

Sadly, you never did.

My hearts crushing and burning. You never cared. My tears falling and drying. You never cared. My life's topsy-turvy. You never cared. But how could you say you do when you don't?

Leave me alone.
I love you, but you don't.

Too many liars. 6267 liars.

Irony

2011-08-07T18:46:00.000-07:00

Am I very egoistic?

I never like to be forced but I am always forcing. I never like to apologize but I insist others to. I disgust those who bitched but I bitched too. I refuse to wish people on their birthdays but hoping they would on mine. I dislike unfriendly people, but I never smile. I hate makeups but I do wear them. I never love education but I am always studying. I want to go out til dawn but never had the chance to. I feel like shouting at someone but I end up crying for that someone. I love myself but I hate myself. THE IRONY.

And if I were to look on the bright side (EVEN WHEN THERE ISN'T ANY), I know that I am a lovable person. No doubt I'm friendly, almost as courteous but I am always optimistic to cheer people up. Life isn't always about rejecting, it is about accepting. So IT IS normal to boast about myself once in a while ok.

.. -.-"

Do you know that the common reason for friendship feud is irony?

"I told her to keep her bloody mouth shut! Just because I told someone her secret."

"I told her my secrets even though I know she couldn't keep them."

AND THE VERY VERY COMMON ONES..

Scene 1

Girl A: C is a bitch. She always flirt, I hate her!
Girl B: I know right.

Scene 2

Girl A: B always flirts, like a bitch. I hate her.
Girl C: Tell me about it.

Where's the harmony man? When will it end? Pfft.

No wonder boys always say, "Girls will die if they cannot gossip". Like what the hell?

I should tell you one more irony.

Do you know that boys GOSSIP a lot too? Please lah, deny all you want. I had spent my days with boys all around and they never fail to gossip about... GIRLS! What's shocking, they gossip about their ENEMIES also ok. So there's no difference.

See the irony? Boys kept complaining how bitchy girls can be especially when we gossip. But do you know that between both genders, boys are much more talkative than girls? Yes, and which means, boys will die too if they cannot gossip.

And now everything revolves around again. Boys gossips, girls gossip, I gossip, you gossip, they gossip.. get the point?

In this world, no one lives without gossiping. Even if you hate it so much, you know you did gossip.

Let's make this clear.

You are complaining about someone who indirectly whispers her heart out. It doesn't even have anything to do with you, so why do you keep complaining about what she complains about every single day? You see the irony?

What is going on with everybody? Why are they shooting at one another?

IRONY..

:)

2011-06-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

“One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter.”
James Earl Jones

I may have overlooked my blog due to my busy schedule albeit I feel the urge to type and calm myself down. No, don't fret just yet, because I am here to satisfy your boring routines this instant so you could express enviousness to my almost dull life but kinda interesting when looked at different angles.

HAHA I SOUND LIKE I'M ADVERTISING SOMETHING GEEKY.

So, to make it understandable, because people can never understand my English, I WENT OUT FOR ONE DAY AND IT WAS................................................... SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love that word ever since I discovered it and Afa loves it too! :)

I don't know how to use it but I use it every time I got excited. Oh and FYI, it is one of the longest word found in English dictionary. So, go and check the definition ok. It exist. -.-"

Now where was I? ....

Oh ok...

I had a fabulous couples day out with the two most................. fun couples. But of course, they can never be as fun as Afa and I. :D

See, happy right? But what's better is that there were a few packets of crackers still untouched and I was so happy because I brought it home. And in the end my family finished it, like what the hell right? -.-" I know.

Ok, I love my hair TO THE MAXIMUM LEVEL OF INFINITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, I met a new friend. She's nice though.

And we all had fun.. we were all couple-ly separated. Afa and I had our photography session afterwhich, because I bragged about it and Afa got irritated cause I forced him.

I love Afa's creativity.

This is one of Afa's fabulous idea and I freaking love it. He says, it's like I'm looking at my shadow. Creative rigggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggght?!

So, the boys' had their own individual photo-taking session, and Afa's looks like this.

Hot right? Yes, I know. Now stop looking. -.-"

I had fun, and I am definitely looking forward for more.

So today......... my mother decided that we take Rai out for a swim. It's been almost a year. We realize that Rai had grown taller that he is able to stand at the baby's pool without having to drown, after Rai stepped into the pool. Rai initially wanted the other pool which is blatantly much more deeper because it was meant for the older kids. So Afa had to run our errands for us.

Worst of all, I couldn't swim. So Afa was kind enough to accompany me sit at the stupid chair and watch them play with the stupid water. -.-"

I envied them, gosh... :(

Cool right? Sadly, the other pictures are not with me.

It was so impromptu. Ok? Bye.

Surprisingly...

2011-06-14T23:35:00.000-07:00

"They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself."
Andy Warhol

I watched Sharpay's Fabulous Adventure about a dozen times and I couldn't get bored just because Ashley Tisdale and Austin Butler looked good together. And the story inspires me because it's all about having faith in yourself. And well, of course, who in the right mind would deny that Austin Butler is so hot-looking, right? Ironically I do not love watching it because it has pink everywhere. No except for once Sharpay was packing her stuff because she was wearing blue.

.................

So I talked to my sister about having a blog and being a blogger, and how fast I learnt all the amazing things internet had taught me about blog's skins and their annoying codes. Must I say that I still do get confused by HTML and CSS. Or CCS? Even their names are perplexed enough to tell how difficult it would be.

You know how annoying it is that weblog is so different from diary and that it has rules to obey? Differences between a weblog and a diary is that.. diary don't even need limits. You can write your hearts out. Be it about racism, governance, potential differences, stereotype.. oh and best of all, you can simply judge, or must I say bitch, about the people you loathe. Doesn't matter family, friends, cousins, cousins' best friends, sister's boyfriends.. basically whoever.

And of course diary do not need all the annoying codes which weblog usually prefers.

But I personally do not own a diary because.. I've always prefer weblog. It is because of the rules that I must obey that I feel it is important for obligations to exist. Am I making sense? I just hope I am because no one can acumen the eloquence someone's exhibits. Or is it incoherent? Whichever.

And I know everyone would be shouting at me about how simpleton I am because the fashion changed. Like right now, it's tumblr yaw. -.- -.- -.- -.-

And more -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-

Speaking of which.. my other sister thought that Tumblr INITIALLY belongs to people with interests to arts, photography.. that kinda stuff. So we were pondering about why such people actually discriminate the initial purposes of Tumblr?

They revamp Tumblr and made it their own weblog, which I find very umm.............. nincompoop? Hahahahaha!

Now my sisters have been constantly complaining about their side of the bed. Arrg.. you know these kind of topics will ultimately lead to feuds, which I find very irrelevant. -.- -.- -.-

Ok lah, bye bye! :)

Coincidentally..

2011-06-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose.
Beverly Nichols

So umm.. As you can see, I have finished amending my layout. I really miss having my pictures above. I know as a blogger (this would be my fifth year; I just have to boast), people would expect my layout to be extravagant, but I pretty much prefer simplicity especially to this kind of things, than those of very high-classed bloggers with very attractive layouts.

Although I do prefer simplicity, I also have a sense of creativity to my simplicity so it would be a little extravagant.

I've always wanted to blog with a dozen of useful pictures but because I was always so lazy, I thought it'd be better if I just don't blog. And I realized how boring it would be not to blog. I am actually trying to satisfy my temptation to blog because, from what I notice, I have blatantly been neglecting my blog ever since I started downloading apps into my phone because Facebook and Formspring are the two main aspect about me now. I downloaded Blogger app into my phone but I didn't have the reasons to why I deleted it. Maybe because I do not have any keypads like my LG phone before but... that isn't a reason, isn't it? Ok. I guess it must be my sense of laziness.

Ok, so a lot of things happened recently. I've just recovered from a virus. Do you about the recent virus attack from Europe? A virus which cause you to shit and vomit within a few hours? Yeah so I was attacked. Last Wednesday was my last of school, because it was my very last paper. I didn't really have the energy to do it as I was feeling so tired and sleepy albeit I know almost all the answers to the questions. I couldn't walk too fast because I felt like vomiting. Liana aided me throughout. Kind friend, and thanks! :D

And on the bright side, I've recovered and holidays are here! :D

I went to East Coast yesterday. Some of us were affected by the virus so my Dad decided that we head down to the beach to breathe in some fresh air. It worked well.. for the three of us. The other one......she is easily infected by germs so she needs time to heal. We were there around afternoon and backed home around midnight. -.-"

One unfortunate incident; A FREAKING COCKROACH JUST CLIMBED UP TO MY THIGHS. Believe me, it was disgustingly awful. Or maybe because I was wearing shorts (hot pants to be precise -.-") and IT thought that my shorts happens to be part of the rocks of the water breaker.

I never want to remember it again.

-.-"

Earlier today, we (Dad, Mama, Kaksu) decided to tag along with my sister's family because they were heading for a swim at Sengkang Swimming Complex. Unfortunately, luck wasn't on our side today. It light a thunder the moment we turn to face the pool, and poor Rai didn't have any chance to swim. :(

It's almost 11pm and I must turn in to sleep. I know it's holidays but we're waking early in the morning to try our luck again at the pool. We really want Rai to swim in the pool with his brand new swimming costume, complete with swimming cap some more. :D

Ok so, it's time to go now. Happy holidays!

P/S: I love AFA! :B

Just my luck.

2011-05-30T21:22:00.000-07:00

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth

What luck, bad luck I meant. Early this morning, I woke up by the ringing tone of my text message. So it was 6am and I decided that I would sleep for another 20mins or so.. just then I realized I slept for 30 mins, which mean I had to iron my uniform, bathe, brush my teeth and hair, apply powder on my face and spray a few litres of perfume to my body, pack my school stuff, wear my socks and shoes IN JUST HALF AN HOUR!

It is blatantly impossible for me to do all that in just 30 mins right? So yes, as expected, I was late. AGAIN! But I would be early if it wasn't because of my stupid iron. It stained my white blouse into brown. That stupid freaking iron just left ugly brown stains on my blouse. I was infuriated. I had an idea though. I took my towel and dip the ends into the running tap and brushed off the stain. It work actually, so I decided to iron it again. How can I go to school with half of my blouse iron? It'll look weird, won't it? And that bloody iron left even more bloody brown rusty things on my blouse. I gave up!

I threw it to the dirty laundry just beside me, and quickly dash to my bedroom and grabbed my polo tee. I had no intention of wearing that tee because I always want to start the day fresh by wearing neat-looking blouse. Where did my blue blouse gone too? Dirty laundry. I used that during the last day of the week before.

Ok, I'm only down with one bad luck so it isn't as bad as it sounds right? And I know I'm making a big fuss over it but this only happens occasionally, doesn't it?

Now what luck.. My friend treat me to Dory baked rice at Pastamania and I felt like vomiting. I was full, so maybe I'll take full responsibility for this. So, I need to transfer my project to a blank cd and I need the time now to study.

So, till next time. :)

That's just it?

2011-05-24T19:43:00.000-07:00

A friend should be one in whose understanding and virtue we can equally confide, and whose opinion we can value at once for its justness and its sincerity.
Robert Hall

I find it stupid. No, I find myself stupid believing that MY friend will come and approach me. How did she changed so fast? I obviously couldn't make my mind up because I was being fickle-minded but I didn't realize that she would actually do the same to me. This is exactly what I picture a family should be after a year. Because THAT'S JUST IT.. since the world change, days change, everything literally change, so it would make sense if people change too. Get it?

It's a life cycle. Like a chicken, it starts with an egg, grows into a chick and develops to a chicken which of course will lay an egg and then grows into a chick that develops to a chicken and goes back to egg then to chick and to chicken.

I mean, IS THAT HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE TREATING YOUR FRIEND? Ok I get it. Friends come and go. But this is not reasonable because we were more than just friends. I know it sounds stupid but fret not, we're not lesbians and I have a boyfriend.

So I was dumbfounded because I couldn't believe what Afa said was actually quite true. My experience was already too adequate that I feel she has gone too far. What? Who in the right mind would want to forget such thing a friend would do. I mean, think about it. You helped a lot, and all you get in return were nothing but ignorance and frustrations. I mean like, WHAT THE FUCK?!

She's been, oh no I'm sorry.. I made a mistake. She WAS an affable person, somehow I guess it slipped out of her bloody mind because she has got TOO MANY FREAKING THINGS CLUSTERING HER BLOODY FUCKING BRAIN!

She's no more than just a sly bitch, with what seems to be FATS, bulging out from her stomach. HAHA! Ok, I do have stupid bulging stomach BUT THEY'RE UNNOTICEABLE. I was so eager to finally meet her, like how I would be voracious when it comes to food, but somehow "eager" deceived me. Thanks a lot! -.- Pfft!

Because being deferential is absolutely essential, and only maturity kills feuds so I guess I should ponder on the inconsequential sources that may entirely affect our friendship ties which I know we will still have tiffs because they're inimitably inevitable. In other words, I should shut my mouth because I wouldn't want pandemonium to occur about something stupid and annoying. It seemed to be so infantile.

So, to you friend. Good luck with your life. Although seeing you WAS my biggest pleasure, I WAS ACTUALLY VERY HAPPY TO "BUMP" IN TO YOU DAMNIT!

Oh and P/S: I'm still trying to figure out how to edit my blog. I want my header to appear again so I am gonna put our pictures (our refers to Afa and I) so it would look prettier and well.. sweeter? Hah!

An update.

2011-05-19T18:21:00.000-07:00

This is very important.

Whoever came onto my blog using Google Chrome, you are definitely having a hard time guessing how the hell I did it.

In short, my blog is best viewed in Google Chrome. You have the privileged to see everything. So whoever doesn't have Google Chrome, it's not my problem. Download one if you wish to see how I amend my blog.

I have yet to finish doing amendments, because the pictures I wanna use is currently not under my hands so I couldn't put it up now. Maybe some other time.

I will keep posting. But, not too often. Mind you, my exam is tomorrow. Fret not, I only have four exams so it's ok. I am still able to blog.

K bye! :)

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

2011-04-25T08:36:00.000-07:00

SEE THAT! I DID A LOT OF ALTERATIONS TO THE SKIN AND IT LOOKS FREAKING PLAIN. BUT HECK IT, I LOVE THIS!

PLEASE DO EXPECT A LOT OF POST BECAUSE I'LL BE BLABBING ABOUT MY RELATIONSHIP.

I was joking. BUT I WILL BE POSTING ABOUT US TIME AND AGAIN.

Because it's her.

2011-04-24T20:15:00.000-07:00

"A friend shares the good times and helps out by listening during the bad times."
Molly Oliver

For a special friend, or in our case, sister,

HAPPY BLISSFUL BIRTHDAY!

May all your wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavors too. Thanks for the memories we've built for the past few years. You were wonderful, sometimes irritating but having a friend, or sister, like you is what makes our friendship ties strong and defensive.

I hope you had fun during your birthday, and during your advanced surprised birthday celebration. So, may you lead a happy and smooth-sailing life and may Allah bless you with good fortunes, knowledge and.. Well, Semoga Tuhan Panjangkan Umur Awak. :) Amin.

Please feel free to express your appreciation anywhere you wish too, however, it is only acceptable if you publicize it. NO I WAS JUST KIDDING! HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAW!

It's our 19th :)

2011-04-03T23:45:00.000-07:00

"I tell you I love you every day for fear that tomorrow isn't another."

I'm blogging through my brother's iPod. So my apologies if my quotations doesn't seem to be larger. Anyway, today is a very special day for Afa and I.

To Kid Afa,
Happy 19th Monthsary!
Thanks for your concern, love, altruism.. pretty much everything. Even though we may have constant misunderstanding, which is partially good because it builds a strong foundation, I just wanna let you know that no matter what happens in between, I will still love you forever. However, words may vary when action changes. I appreciate your serenity, albeit I may not show it. Frankly, I never liked being in control of someone's hand, but your obligations made me realize that curfews are set because of limits. Without your love and obligations, I will be just a human with only a small amount of maturity and I will know no purpose of living. My sorrows will not be audible because everything will brew darker and darker. So, thank you for everything. I Love You! :)

Our 19th Monthsary meant so much to me. However, we didn't have the chance to meet. We chat through Facebook, talked on the phone and well.. dream of each other, pretending that we are physically together sitting side by side. We have inflicted each other in terms of patience which may oppress us indirectly. So, this suffering will end once our eyes are glued to each other upon meeting.

Ok, Afa and I are talking on the phone right now and he has been complaining because I am still blogging when I was told to turn in about 15 minutes ago. He is sleepy, and so am I.

Happy 19th Monthsary Afa!
I LOVE U! :)

Insomnia.. Or just avoidance?

2011-04-01T01:00:00.000-07:00

"Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman, but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man."

Everything seems fine. I was able to meet Afa outside my border, and well.. have freedom! :D

I have decided to cancel all of my outings because I'm left with one whole week to rest. I need time to prepare myself for school. Besides, I need to do some alterations to my school skirt and my hair.

In ITE, sky's the limit for skirt length. It is suitable for "short" skirt lovers. HAHA!

AND I am NOT gonna alter my skirt length. Afa won't agree to it.

So.. I met Afa yesterday.

WE TALKED. Mainly about friends, WHO SUCKS! And well, our history; reminiscence.

One thing for sure,

I know we changed a lot. Because, we haven't been going out quite often, which was blatantly proven by Afa's good memory. We didn't have the chance to celebrate our monthsary, which I clearly elucidated that I DON'T CELEBRATE MONTHSARIES BECAUSE I'M AFRAID IT WON'T LAST ULTIMATELY.

But I understand it really meant so much to Afa. And I felt so touched by his words. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't because my tears wasn't cooperating with me yesterday.

The 3rd of every month meant so much to me, but I guess I've stop showing it to Afa nowadays. I find that giving excuses is generally pathetic considering I have so much free time. And I love it how Afa shows his understanding. I'm sorry I took advantage of it. I guess I was too caught up with my past curfews. I didn't want to disappoint my parents but I didn't know that I disappoint Afa even more.

I know I might bore some people, talking about my love life. But I've noticed that this three weeks of holidays was such a bore without Afa by my side. I keep on missing him everyday. My heart beats heavily these days, and I know it only beats for Afa. Whenever we meet, it beats even faster. And I know, I love him even more each day.

I am very emotional now that I think I should stop before I start crying because I really miss MY AFA!

BUT I COULDN'T.. I MISS HIM SO DEARLY THAT BY NOW EVERYONE MUST HAVE VOMITED AFTER READING ALL MY NONSENSE BLABBING ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE! And I know we're so sweet looking that girls find it hard to ignore.

Haha! I LOVE AFA!

OK? BYE!

Because that's just not my thing.. you know?

2011-03-25T01:09:00.000-07:00

"Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about."
Oscar Wilde

Everyone has been pestering me to try tumblr. They say, I'm a 'cool' blogger, so why not have a try on tumblr. Ok, I need to know their definition of cool in this kind of situation. Who knows they might connote it's definition, maybe because sarcasms is.. well, sarcastic!

I guess I need to elucidate my reasons for not having a tumblr because somehow the eloquence wasn't clear enough. Bear this in mind; I'm not a tumblr fan, and Tumblr is just not my thing. So I don't understand why after numerous reminders about me not being a tumblr fan, I still do have people irritate me with these kind of questions. My answers are blatantly sufficient, what more must I say?

I've known blogger for my entire puberty years, AND YES PUBERTY CAN RELATE TO MEMORIES, AND SOMETHING YOU COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.. AND SO, BLOGGER IS ONE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. BECAUSE IT BRINGS BACK MEMORIES!

Why do I get so frustrated over a question?

Because that's just it.. I've received over a dozen questions from the few SAME people and all of them is always relating to tumblr.

Scratch that.

Since I'm well known for my blog skin skills (because it's simple AND it has some originality added in to it, which make others come back for more and expect bigger and better), people decided to 'introduced' me to tumblr. But they just don't get it that I've been living with blogger ever since my puberty started. So all of these makes it harder for me to leave blogger.

Ironically, I do visit my friends' tumblr account. AND IT IS ONLY BECAUSE I FIND THAT TUMBLR MOTIVATED PEOPLE WITH QUOTATIONS. Ah, what the heck.. If I were to keep blabbing about tumblr, it makes no difference. I will still hear the same question over and over again. If it's not now, it'll be somewhere in the future.

So anyway.. I will have to calm myself down.

I might learn a little bit of tumblr. JUST TO LEARN HOW TO DESIGN IT'S LAYOUT. Because I've been receiving 'recommendations' so why not, right? I will announce when I've learnt some basic editing, for tumblr design.

And, by the way, I don't follow the trends. I stand OUT from the crowds, remember? Blogger then, Tumblr now. Friendster then, Facebook now. Ok lah, I deleted my Friendster account like 3 to 4 years ago because I created Facebook, AND I CREATED FACEBOOK WHEN IT WAS STILL DEVELOPING OK! NOW DEVELOPED ALREADY, GOT DIFFERENCE HOR!

I need to consume energy, my stomach is devoid.

Pathetic much?

2011-03-21T00:30:00.000-07:00

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

Robert Heinlein

I find it utterly disgusting and also embarrassing that people are trying to demoralize traditional clothing. I find it stupid.

If being sexy is your necessity, wear a bikini instead. Or better yet, get off naked.

I saw a few pictures of girls wearing unacceptable traditional clothings during HARI RAYA. Don't worry, I won't embarrass you people because I don't even know you. And if I'm bitchier, I would but I rather not. I'm not like the Singapore's number ONE blogger. I'M NICER! THANK YOU!

It irks me to keep blabbing. >:(

I don't like you.

2011-03-19T00:29:00.000-07:00

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've got to be honest. I am happy for the fact that holidays are here. So much has happen. I've learned Chinese, now that's something new for me considering the fact that I only speak Japanese or Korean, and never prefer Chinese. Ain't it? I'm still learning though, which I think takes a longer period than how I expected it to last. Hey, I'm no connoisseur teenager.

Well, those aside.

Recently, I confided Afa about how I feel around him and his friends. He is able to identify friends and brotherhood perfectly well, so I guess I don't have to elucidate much on the differences or similarities. So I'm trying to be an optimistic girlfriend to him because having to fight so often won't make any good memories even though it MIGHT be good for relationships. There's always ambit to everything, am I right? The parameter to relationships, in my perceptions, is for both parties to really acumen the importance of acuity because everyone believes in the "Action speaks louder than words" idiom. Although I prefer him to not be so close to girls, I feel a huge sense of guilt because the austerity I made is.. how do I put this?.. OVER. However, if I let him go by giving about 1.5% of freedom, it will be entirely unfair for I'll be no more closer to my boy friends because of his protocols. I know such rules won't last, ultimately.

Having said that, actions varies from time to time for people and to judge would be generally rude, I will try my best to keep negative conclusions or assumptions out of my bloody mind. Relationship is a two way thing; It needs two hands to clap, so Afa better provide me with the same treatment. AND I SOUND SO BOSSY RIGHT NOW! -.-"

Another story aside.

I hate this one biatch. If you think you can be bitchier, so be it. I don't think having to reply your nonsensical opinions would suggest that I lose just because you're a bitch. I absolutely have no interest in you, what more trying to find ways to fight with you? Hah! No way, BIATCH! Sorry honey, I'm not interested in the games you play. You're just too infantile, WAY BEYOND INFANTILE, that I know it'll be a waste of time trying to win my spot.

So yes, I guess that's about it. I am looking forward to outings, but Mother, do NOT destroy it. Thank you.

Lame, or cool shit? (Update)

2011-03-17T17:41:00.000-07:00

I still think my header is a sucker.

Realization eh?

2011-03-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

When you love someone, all your saved-up wishes start coming out.
- Elizabeth Bowen

I know I went missing all so sudden. Honestly, if teachers were a little nicer, datelines would be by the end of the year. OMG yes, I have got a plethora of work to do with so little time. Now who says ITE isn't so stressful? Haven't they realized ITE has started rejecting people?

Anyway, I'm still in doubts about doing amendments to my blog. Holidays is in 8 days' time. Can't wait.

Update!

2011-02-19T23:29:00.000-08:00

Hello people.

I've put up the followers column for some of you who prefers following to linking.

And notice something new? Yes! I have decided to start putting an 'update' post about the things I've added onto my site. I will start to do these more often because I think that it's time for my site to upgrade.

A preview of what other 'updates' I'm gonna do;

A NEW HEADER FOR MY BLOG!

Yes, I think it's time to get a new one. I am still in doubts about whether I should do some alterations with the main colors. Any suggestions? If yes, please feel free to leave it at my tagboard. Thanks!

Stay tune everyone! Goodnight.

P/S: I won't be putting up quotations prior to blogging during an 'update' because it is not really necessary.

Bored, boredom, boring...

2011-02-11T23:12:00.000-08:00

"Friendship needs no words..."
Dag Hammarskjold

Facebook is now the 'in' thing for almost everyone in the world, right? Remember how Friendster used to be it? Could you remember all the typical had their layouts in all sort of bright colors? And the lucky minority can enjoy updating their Facebook because now there won't be any bright colors anywhere. Maybe just their pictures and banners, but other than those, it's plain white, ain't it? Apart from those, people criticizes one another indirectly in Friendster. And in Facebook too? Not much difference eh? And to my surprise, there's still words like "hotstuff" and all. Owning of photographs still do exist, trust me.

And I thought the trends in Friendster won't continue in Facebook. -.-"

When I'm lost..

2011-02-04T19:11:00.000-08:00

"You're nothing short of my everything."

Ralph Block

I am supposed to help my friend, Fitri, with her blog layout. Unfortunately, my msn can't seems to be cooperating with me. I can't add her up in msn. What's worst, I've got no phone to send her a text message. I want to be a 'tai long' for the time being. I'm gonna hunt my cousin down once and for all!

I was just joking. >.<"

I am having a long holiday and I don't think I can survive by having to log in to Facebook every two and half hours. Neither can I keep blogging every 4 hours after getting bored of Solitaire, right? Yes, I'm a fan of Solitaire and I love playing it. I'm a fan of it just recently. I got bored with the games everywhere in the net. Facebook doesn't offer that much, and I've played almost everything there.

And just recently, I've decided to read Natsuo Kirino's books again. My house has got limited books, which mean I need to buy some more! I am still searching for 'Sherlock Holmes' and 'Frankenstein' though. So for the time being, I'm gonna buy Sophie Kinzella's book. I've read a few of her stories.

I feel like a nerd, OMG!

I meant that in a different way, of course. Why would I think myself as a nerd just because I'm a bookworm right? I have very high self-esteem ok! Not THAT high but at least to the extent whereby there's still room for improvements.

All those aside, please. :)

I have got leftovers. Leftovers? Yes. Pictures, of course. I didn't have the time to post it up mainly because I was pretty lazy. I thought of neglecting them but well.. they're memories. And I'm pretty sure they won't conjured out in blogger without having me to do it, won't it? So, before I try to be all nonsensical, I think it's time to just have a bit of reminiscence.

This was on the 2nd of January, fyi. I know right, it's like freaking a month ago. Look at how time flies. Undeniably quick, don't you think? Like wow!

We're the sisters who wears sleeveless with shawls. :D

I'm always taking shots of myself. I just love the camera! >.<

Kaksu claimed that my hair color can be seen. Seriously, there's no different. -.-"

After all the munching and crunching, my Mom said she would show us her kampung. Excited lah, of course! Opps, I did no snapping of pictures of my mother's kampung area. Because I was literally engrossed with the adventure that I didn't realized that it was already time to go.

Oh-oh, there were monkeys too.

Now.. I'm gonna show you all the monkeys. Cute cute monkeys. :D

And to end it off.. my adorable nephew.

10 more days to Valentine, and believe it or not, I don't care. :)

Those things.

2011-02-02T19:39:00.000-08:00

"Friendship should be surrounded with ceremonies and respects, and not crushed into corners. Friendship requires more time than poor busy men can usually command."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adversities. I can't handle them all. I find it so stupid to keep bottling my feelings up, but who do I turn to when the world is full of betrayers? I never adore people with infantile behaviors, which is why I don't mix around well. What's weird, I find myself very arrogant. Don't ask me why, because believe me, I do not know myself well either. Ironic.

That aside.

My mood to blog suddenly ran away and disappear. So, goodbye for now.

Out of ordinary.

2011-01-29T11:21:00.000-08:00

"You know you're in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye."

Sometimes, I find myself very dumb. Apart from the fact that I claimed that I do miss blogging, I never really did take the initiatives to sit in front of the computer screen and get my hands typing. I have really nothing to keep blabbing about, because life is not too interesting these few days. So pardon me for lack of stories.

So yesterday, D&D congregated to celebrate one of our brother's advanced birthday. I was very exuberant because it's 2011 and having everyone parted is undeniably difficult to get all of us back together. But hey, it was still great. I had fun.

Of course, Dopes had a surprise for Feqhs. A birthday bash, and Feqhs was bashed up quite bad. Poor Feqhs had to forfend himself, but luck wasn't on his side yesterday. Boys are very daunting. They don't mind bashing up, but do mind when being bashed up, yet they let themselves bash up other people. I may have put up a wrong way of saying it but I'm sure many of you can briefly understand what my mind wants to exhibit.

I miss the fun we had yesterday. I want yesterday to come back. :(

Waaait..

If I were to wish for yesterday, then I won't be going to Baby's house today. Naaah, I shall let time pass. :D

Because of you.

2011-01-23T19:09:00.000-08:00

"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Carl Jung

I was a fool to let love dragged me into hell. I was a fool to believe love can make me happier. Being in a relationship was the coolest gift, at first. Then I started crying and cursing myself for what I've put myself into. I made a promise to myself to never fall in love. A stupid belief every girl would have made. I was one of them.

I never thought someone like Baby would come and rescue me from the sea. For all this while, I've been drowning in deep sea for love has been so cruel to me. It never run through my mind that I will go through different hardships with different people, because the sea itself is already so cruel. Not long after it, I realize I was standing beneath a fish, showing off it's bright light. I had never thought it would come.

When I snap back into reality, I realize I took Baby for granted. All I cared for was to escape from the dreadful sea. I had a plethora of hardship below till I forgot how to love someone who did really love me. Baby has been my best friend, my brother, my husband, my assistant, my advisor, my shopping mate.. but one important thing I never realize was that, he's my love.

My love I should cherish, show care and concern, and most importantly, shower him with all the love I can provide. His altruism towards me has been hurtful because it made me realize that for all these while, it has been about me. I was beyond conceited because I finally get to feel freedom because I know I can shout out and say "I won". I know love won't be so happy, and I know I'll lose one day. But it never came to mind that this day has come.. I lost!

I lost almost everything love had provided me with. I envied love, because only love can really make me acumen the essence of someone sacrificing his life for me.

This day forward, I have to declare that I, (I am NEVER revealing my real name) Efahchan, will cherish her loved ones for both good and bad times, no matter what and where it'll bring me to. I don't want and never will want to feel remorseful in the very end when I know it's too late. Just too late.

Missed.

2011-01-21T21:23:00.000-08:00

"The most wonderful of all things in life, I believe, is the discovery of another human being with whom one's relationship has a glowing depth, beauty, and joy as the years increase. This inner progressiveness of love between two human beings is a most marvelous thing, it cannot be found by looking for it or by passionately wishing for it. It is a sort of Divine accident."
Sir Hugh Walpoe

Wow, I missed blogging so much! Forgive me for my absence, I wasn't able to satisfy myself into blogging because the internet connection had been cut off. There was absolutely, blatantly no opportunity for me to sneak into my school's computer to blog because I was indeed very busy with my project. Ironically, I was very free upon reaching home. Unfortunately, there wasn't any available connection. So I had to suffer for approximately two weeks, but still I survived. :)

Since Baby and I are always busy with other friends, we made Friday our day. I didn't enjoy everything at first, untill we crack jokes in the midst of everything. That was when I started to enjoy it. However, good things always come to an end. We had to part, because obviously we're not married yet -.-"

Initially, I was supposed to meet my baby Shaf. Seriously, I was very pathetic. I had to borrow Baby's phone because my phone line has been cut off, again. Baby said he doesn't have Shaf's number, but I do. What's stupid was, I didn't notice at that moment that I had brought my phone along. So, I called Shaf the minute she reached her house. Stupid seh, seriously. :(

I have nothing else to blab about. I am such a boring person, damn!

Belated New Year.

2011-01-02T22:28:00.000-08:00

"One must work and dare if one really wants to live."
Vincent van Gogh

I have no interest in wishing everyone a joyful new year, so I thought perhaps I could do a belated one. Then again, I seriously have got no interest at all. Maybe I've got my own perspectives on new year. People believe that this year is gonna be even better for them. Honestly, I do feel that kind of instinct too, but only to a smaller scale.

On the first of January, my friend celebrated her 16th birthday.

Happy birthday dear friend! :D

May all your wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavors too. Good luck for your exams; I am not really sure what is she doing for 2011 though.

Happy birthday Yvonne. :)

Also, on the same day itself, my cousin, Abang Irwan, had his engagement day too. My mom made cupcakes with nice icing. I am NOT gonna say it, secret ok!

It looks nice at first, but when we arrived at Abang Irwan's house, it's all messed up. The color balls and chocolate rice were dissolved by the icing, except for the flower.

This is the icing that my Mum made. It's really very nice.

I used color balls for decoration. Of course, I have random ideas when I'm baking so I decided to....

DECORATE MY TONGUE! -.-

I know it's stupid, but that's just something random I find myself doing every time I bake.

Now, the outcome.

Awww, pretty. HAHAHA! >.<

Jailed at home.

2010-12-26T22:05:00.000-08:00

"The strongest principle of growth lies in human choice"
George Eliot

I had a few family outings actually, but most of them only took us 2-3 hours and then we're back home. So I usually ensconce myself at home, and Baby would drop by and stayed until my Mom return home from work.

私は赤ちゃんの彼氏が大好きです。

Watashi wa akachan no kareshi ga daisukidesu.

For those for you who are wondering what the hell did I wrote above, it simply mean "I love my Baby boyfriend." Random, isn't it? I can't wait for Baby to come by my house on Tuesday. Apart from that, Baby and I applied for the same course at the same college. I can't wait for the results, I am beyond ebullience.

My cousin, Lala, applied for the same course as us too. Coincidence much? If only we'd get to be together again, oh I miss my cousin.

Alright, Daryl's birthday was on 22nd December. So, happy birthday :D

Nadd's birthday is coming too!

I'll wish a proper one some other time, maybe together with Nadd's. So, stay tune! >.<

I'm obsessed.

2010-12-26T13:02:00.000-08:00

"Love is the history of a woman's life; it is an episode in man's."
Germaine De Stael

This may sound disgusting to all of those whom are single, but believe it or not, I am terribly in deep love with my own boyfriend because now that I've realized, he is actually very very undeniably good-looking :)

And that is not the reason why I'm with him.

I love him and he loves me. It's true that he may irritate me by saying out the fact that I'm fat, but I can't deny and just say I hate it because frankly, I love it when he says I'm fat. Everyone knows fat IS EQUAL TO "gotta-lose-some-weight-damnit". And having a boy to say I'm fat is like an angel telling me to lose some weight because eating too much means die sooner!

Everything has drawbacks and repercussions alright.

Another random -.-"

2010-12-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

"Rather fail with honor than succeed by fraud."
Sophocles

Okay, I passed my N'Levels but my points does not qualify for Sec 5. I've got 20 points. Frankly, I am already so happy. Also, I would like to congratulate those who made it to Sec 5. Study hard yeah? Don't just talk big, and sucked up in the end :)

Like it? It's Sweet Apricot, Liese :)

Dyed it a few days before result day, and I love it sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much!

Dangerous.

2010-12-18T20:25:00.000-08:00

"Anything may be betrayed, anyone may be forgiven, but not those who lack the courage of their own greatness."

Ayn Rand

I am very pissed with someone right now.

I don't think I am able to trust my friends anymore. They're really useless. I'm not sure if I should be their friends. Useless friends!

P/S: If you think you're the one who infuriates me, then you are the one. Got it? And I'm very sure you know it's you!

Random.

2010-12-17T00:47:00.000-08:00

"The best mirror is an old friend."
George Herbert

I had my first ever Karaoke session with my two best friends, Yani and Zura, a few days ago. Believe it or not!

Honestly, I am never the type whom enjoys singing. I love something with very feisty atmosphere. I am a clown to my friends because I love loud jokes. Sometimes, I can get a little too harsh and sarcastic. But they love me anyway! :)

All of those aside please!

I would love to wish good luck to all N-Level candidate (including me) who are taking their results in a few hours' time, and pray in their parents' behalf, so that they achieved what have been inspired. Good luck people, pray many-many :)

Pisceans.

2010-12-10T00:48:00.000-08:00

"You are what you eat"

I was intrigued with what seemed to be today's trend of fortune; zodiac horoscopes, and it's meaning.

I'm a Pisceans. Frankly, I think Pisceans are people with much anticipation of jealousy and revenge. Apart from myself, there are other few Pisceans whom I met are undeniably very cunning. No, I am not cunning. I am 100% more to jealousy and mere revenge.

Help yourself to know more about me, kay?

Pisces

Positive traits - Imaginative and sensitive,
Compassionate and kind,
Selfless and unworldly,
Intuitive and sympathetic

Pisceans possess a gentle, patient, malleable nature. They have many generous qualities and are friendly, good natured, kind and compassionate, sensitive to the feelings of those around them, and respond with the utmost sympathy and tact to any suffering they encounter. They are deservedly popular with all kinds of people, partly because their easygoing, affectionate, submissive natures offer no threat or challenge to stronger and more exuberant characters. They accept the people around them and the circumstances in which they find themselves rather than trying to adapt them to suit themselves, and they patiently wait for problems to sort themselves out rather than take the initiative in solving them. They are more readily concerned with the problems of others than with their own.

Other sources states that Pisceans loves to be pampered. Sheer warning to people dating Pisceans (hinting to Baby, especially), please be very patient with Pisceans because having to pamper someone is indeed very tough. You have to carefully decide to make sure he/she won't get upset. Self-centered is another part of the story. I'm talking about 'pamper' alone. But having self-centered and pampered literally combine together, I assure you, you'll be bedridden in few hours' time :P

Their natures tend to be too otherworldly for the practical purposes of living in this world as it is. They sometimes exist emotionally rather than rationally, instinctively more than intellectually (depending on how they are aspected). They long to be recognized as greatly creative. They also dislike disciple and confinement. The nine-to-five life is not for them. Any rebellion they make against convention is personal, however, as they often times do not have the energy or motivation to battle against the Establishment.

Strangers compliment me for certain things mentioned above too, so I couldn't deny it entirely because needless to say, they are all true enough!

Pisceans tend to withdraw into a dream world where their qualities can bring mental satisfaction and sometimes, fame and financial reward for they are extremely gifted artistically. They are also versatile and intuitive, have quick understanding, observe and listen well, and are receptive to new ideas and atmospheres. All these factors can combine to produce remarkable creativity in literature, music and art. They may count among their gifts mediumistic qualities which can give them a feeling that their best work comes from outside themselves, "Whispered beyond the misted curtains, screening this world from that." Even when they cannot express themselves creatively they have a greater than average instinct for, and love of, beauty in art and nature, a catlike appreciation of luxury and pleasure, and a yearning for new sensations and travel to remote, exotic places.

I'm starting to hate this source, for the fact that they scored almost all A's for observing Pisceans -.-
I always led myself into dream world. Okay, this is something random. Sometimes, I find myself in deep satisfaction because I hit the ones I absolutely abhor the most. Sometimes, I find myself laughing whenever this situation rekindle in my mind. Dreaming is.. irrevocable to Pisceans, agree?

They are never egotistical in their personal relationships and give more than they ask from their friends. They are sexually delicate, in the extreme almost asexual, and most Pisceans would want a relationship in which the partner's mind and spirit rather than the body resonated with their own. Unfortunately they can be easily misled by a lover who courts them delicately and in marriage makes them unhappy by a coarser sexuality than they expected. They are nevertheless intensely loyal and home-loving and will remain faithful.

Err.. Okay clearly everyone knows I'm underage -.-

In their employment they are better working either by themselves or in subordinate positions. Their talents are individual in a commercial business or similar undertaking. They would be afraid to manage more than a small department, worrying always that they would fail in a crisis. They can make fair secretaries and bookkeepers. Their sympathy equips them for work in charities catering for the needy, as nurses looking after the sick and as veterinary surgeons caring for animals. As librarians or astronomers they can satisfy their mental wanderlust, and their fondness for "faraway places with strange-sounding names" may turn them into sailors or travellers. Many architects and lawyers are Pisceans, and when the creative abilities are combined with gifts of imitation and the ability to enter into the feelings of others, Pisceans find their fulfillment on the stage. Their psychic and spiritual qualities can lead them into careers in the church or as mediums and mystics. They may find an outlet for their creativity as caterers, and are said to make good detectives because they can imagine themselves in the place of criminals and understand how their minds would work. In technical occupations they are well employed in dealing with anaesthetics, fluids, gases and plastics. Because of their lively versatility and inability to concentrate overmuch on any one project, Pisceans often simultaneously follow more than one occupation.

This goes to Pisceans aged 20 and above, I think. Certainly, some can be referred to me. Be it positive or negative!

Insomnia.

2010-12-06T03:39:00.000-08:00

"Life is a succession of lessons, which must be lived to be understood."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Endless sleepless night. Yes, insomnia. I can't sleep, I wonder why?

'Playful Kiss' and 'Boys over Flowers' accompanied me for a few hours. Then I got bored of them. So, I've decided to check on my other lovely boys 'Hey! Say! JUMP'. Alluring Yamada cried.

Look.

Kawaii neh?

But he is definitely a big cry baby. Fergie, sing him your song please! Yes, BIG BOYS DON'T CRY!

Baby's asleep around 10pm. Oh look, it's 3:33am. I'm missing someone. Yes, BABY!

Many believed that when you look at the time, and if it goes in sequence, then you're missing someone. Although majority still think it's a nonsensical belief, it is fun to play around with it.

I've learned a few Japanese words just now. Like "ginko" which mean bank, and "okii" which mean big or large. Again, I threw it one side because it still do bores me.

Argggg! I can't sleep. Stupid eyes :(

Big WOW!

2010-12-04T08:00:00.000-08:00

"Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint on it you can."

Danny Kaye

I understand that blogging very early in the morning is somehow very illogical to some, but because I've read today's news and find it interesting, I have decided to share those news with you. For those of you who don't read the news or don't like reading yet do read blog entries, then today's entry of mine will be very dull for you. Even though it may seem boring, but it is very beneficial because it may affect your daily lives. You might not know it may occur to you tomorrow, or the next day, or even the day after the next day, or maybe next year!

Okay lah, choi *touch wood*

The first news that attracts me was about Tom Cruise's daughter having a credit card... AT AGE FOUR!!!!! It is very reasonable and understandable that someone aged sixteen and above are likely to own a credit card, but age four? Tom Cruise believed that her daughter's maturity is able to handle monetary issues. Of course, I personally think it is a very wise decision because apart from the fact that children learns faster than adults, they are also able to influence their friends into saving from young. Now that's not a bad idea. So when they get older, they won't be pestering their parents for money. Of course, there'll be drawbacks and repercussions for giving responsibilities at a young age.

Please click and read the informations here because it is more detailed.

Tom Cruise’s daughter ‘has credit card’

The next attractive news was about the Shaw Theaters opening in Serangoon central Mall on 2nd December 2010. Frankly, I have never once stepped into the Shaw Theaters. However, after reading and knowing how the features are, I personally feel that is going to be a comfortable and enjoying experience for everyone. It has got two allocated lots for wheelchairs. Amazing right? Finally Singapore's thinking outside the box.

So anyway, please do read the following website for more details.

Shaw Theatres nex opens 2 Dec

The last undeniably disgusting news was about a molester molesting sleeping girls in school library. I've got two words to say; No comment.

Read it on your own to find out more :)

‘Sleeping girls’ molester in school nabbed

Birthday celebration cum 15th Monthsary.

2010-12-03T22:37:00.000-08:00

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

Robert Heinlein

We celebrated Baby's belated birthday celebration and 15th Monthsary altogether. As usual, I was late. We went to Vivo, as planned. Bought cheeseburger, because I was merely craving for it and Baby offered to give me a treat the day before. We had an impromptu plan, which was watching a movie.

We decided to watch "Harry potter and the deathly hollows, Part 1".

It started at 6:10pm (for those of you who are unable to read time in 24 hours, I've "translated" it for you). Yes, it's very expensive there. $10 per person, and their popcorn is $5 per box.

More outings next week. Yay-ness!

My Baby turns 16.

2010-12-02T23:25:00.000-08:00

"Love is the mortar that holds the human structure together."

Karen Casey

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY BABY!

May all ur wishes and dreams come true, and may u succeed in ur future endeavors. Semoga Allah panjang kan umur u :)

Finally sixteen eh? Haha!

I'll send hugs and kisses via SMS kaaay? Happy birthday Baby!

P/S: I do know what I'm gonna wear tomorrow. Can't wait, Baby's birthday celebration cum 15th monthsary.

Noise pollution.

2010-11-30T20:04:00.000-08:00

"Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile."
Elizabeth Browning

I don't understand how the people living in the same block as me are able to tolerate the noise produced by the stupid "something-got-to-do-with-opera-thing" downstairs. Seriously, it's driving me nuts. This is terrible, I'm not even enjoying my time infront of this freaking computer. What's worst, I'm having a bad running nose and my head feels as though someone keep on banging my head on the wall. And yes, the abiding noise irks me!

Whatever alright?

Okay, I was browsing through my picture folder when I bumped into this particular picture that made me smile throughout.

On the left, as you can see, is my sister, Ee. And on the right, is the most adorable baby nephew, Rai.

I find him so adorable :)

I'm not sure what to wear this coming Friday, hmm..

Missing.

2010-11-29T04:16:00.000-08:00

"Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into friend."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Yesterday marks the end of my work. Initially, my contract ends today but coincidentally, my off day was procrastinated to today because we overlooked our roaster. Speaking of which, the roaster showed that I'm working for the next two days. I am ascertain that my contract ends today, so no worries.

I told Kristen that I am going to complain about everything that happens during my one month of working. Be it the working environment, be it the pugnacious staff, be it EVERYTHING! She was plainly transfixed!

First of all, the working environment. For goodness sake, I'm underage. I'm ascertain that kids below the age of 17 are not allowed to be wandering off at night after 11pm. Having said that, my afternoon shift ends at 11pm. My journey back home took approximately one freaking hour. And I'm not even mentioning about how long I have to wait for the bus. The longest would be 15 minutes. So, what time do I usually reached home? Lo and behold, 1am. Yes, 1am. Very frivolous, don't you think?

The next one would be.. Pugnacious staff. Majority of the staff there are vicious. Needless to say, albeit they look so pretty, attractive and undeniably old, they loomed to be 16 mentally. Whenever I'm alone in a department, I'm always trying my best to confute them and show them that part-timers are not just part-timers by name. Somehow, it went to waste all over again -.-"

Seriously, when I was selling VIPs like I'm told too, -- would suddenly appear in between my customer and I. How fascinating. It's not as if they're paying us to sell VIPs or anything, right?

Now what's done is done. I must say I'm delighted to be absolve. It feels like self-gratification although ironically, nothing really pleases me. The necessity to be free is finally here, might as well enjoy it. I should be jaunty for I already have enough freedom to enjoy pleasure :)

Nature.

2010-11-20T05:04:00.000-08:00

"Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things."

I fall sick twice in a month. Now that's me.

I have less than 10 days to the end of work. I can't wait to bid farewell to my stupid managers and stuck-up full-timers. Ella, my new friend, insisted that we (Ella, Aisyah and I) head down to Jay Gee Melwani building together during our collection of cheques. I expect more than a thousand. Reason being, the job's a bitch. Part-timers are quietly bullied by the full-timers in almost everything. Their sarcasms was never needed, their never-ending bossy attitude, their stupid stares to us was never invited. No wonder the other part-timers decided to "run away".

They're really lucky to have us who tolerates their nonsense. I'm very sure Ella and Aisyah have their own temper, but whatever it is, I won't hesitate to blast off mine. They're a total bitch, even Ella agrees with it.

Speaking of which, after yesterday's story-telling session, I feel so close with Ella despite knowing her for about 3 to 4 weeks already. Unfortunately, she's 20. She absolutely won't enjoy the things I love to do, because frankly, she's the type of friend I've been longing to have. She's close with my sister too! Best of all, she's cool. None of my friends are as cool as her. One similarities, we memorized the songs from the playlist. You know, the what song comes after another.

And as for Aisyah, we're of the same age. She's the perfect one to talk about school life and such. I feel an immense sense that she's very talented. Like she have this photographic memory. Sadly, she's always being bullied.

So anyway, I have met two cool new friends whom I guess it's worth missing them. Our abhorrence for the full-timers makes the relantionship of this friendship bonds the three of us together.

Itchy hands.

2010-11-15T22:58:00.000-08:00

"Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody."Benjamin Franklin

And as you can see, I've deleted my links (again) because there is of no use to keep the links of those whom either deleted their blogs or put them in private even if I was invited.

So, today's Monday. Another name for Monday is rest day for me. I have nothing to share except for the boring routine I have to go through for the next 13 days. After which, I will have to go through another common routine which is infact, a little bit better. Computers are much more healthier than having to stand throughout the whole 10 hours.

I was just fooling around, DO NOT believe me when I say computers are much more healthier. They're bad of eyes and brains. Don't spend too much time infront of the computers, please.

Friends or foe?

2010-11-11T01:34:00.000-08:00

"Don't pity the girl with one true friend. Envy her. Pity the girl with just a thousand acquaintances."

Katie Obenchain

My memory deteriorated. I'm becoming senile, which ironically, I'm not that old. I'm just 16, going to be 17 in two months' time. Even though I have short-term memory, I can vividly remember some friendship stories I've heard a few days back. Some were pitiful, some were extraordinary, some were surprising, some were disappointing while others were mundane. Nothing much to compare but needless to say, they're all pathetic. I'm not criticizing them, but face it, it's life. Everyone has to go through them. It's like the life cycle of a human being.

Okay, maybe I'm a little bit frustrated upon hearing their stories. I sympathize the victims. I don't understand, why do friends love to talk shits about someone else but beg them for aid in the end? Why can't friends help one another instead of ignoring them?

If someone can answer me with much explanation, I'll sure to give that person something extra-ordinary. Maybe not extra but just something others don't usually give.

I've got a few bundle of advice I would pretty much love to share.

What would I do if:

1) I've got ditched by my friends because they desperately want to meet their boyfriends?

Well, I'll postpone it. See, if they desperately need to meet their boyfriend, let them. Lovers prioritize their relantionship more. Friendship doesn't mean a thing, love does. Friends come and go, don't they? I can't understand why friends always make a fuss when their bestfriends' keep on spending time with his/her loved ones. It's like, you're not allowed to spend quality time with your sisters. Your own blood related sisters, else your bestfriend might get jealous. Does it make any sense? Obviously NO! Point is, try to understand your friend.

2) My friends talked bad things behind my back?

I may get offended, but that's life isn't it? I mean, I talked about my friends behind their backs too. It's nature, everyone talks bad about everyone! It is blatantly absurd if someone were to deny that they NEVER talk about someone else behind their back.

3) My friends came to me for help whenever she's in trouble?

I may be sad, but I believe that if I help that person, he/she can somehow feel offended in a way or another. You see, if you were to tell that person up straight into face, you'll hurt 'em. You'll end up fighting with them. But haven't you realized that sometimes when you keep helping them, they'll feel offended and somewhat realizes their mistakes? That's when they'll start to change.

Point is people, don't give tests to YOUR friend. Cherish them, you might not know when they're gone.

Taking chances.

2010-11-05T19:24:00.000-07:00

“Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking, loving might be a mistake but it's worth making.”
Leanne Womack

I shall elucidate the first doubts that majority love to ask. I'm sick! I left Kristen a message, informing her I will not be coming for work. Sadly, I'll have to attend work tomorrow :(

I want to quit that job. Before that, can anyone please reinforce the definition of PART-TIME to me. I know I still quite remember what it means but needless to say, maybe the full-timers don't. Maybe they misconstrue the definition of part-time. Or maybe they acumen the definition of part-time but somehow their acuity displays a different meaning altogether. So does this mean that the youngsters are much more cleverer than adults despite having a few who fails due to the lack of revisions? If it does, then maybe I might use that aspect to the full-timers at my workplace :)

That aside. I have an interesting story to share.

Two days ago, I was appointed to be at the shoes' section and somehow catch a glimpse at the mens' if Alan was doing his duty at the entrance. Okay, the mens' section and the entrance is like 1m away. I mean, if you enter the outlet and turn to your right, you'll see the mens' section. Like tadaa! Okay, move along. Suddenly, a men with about 20 years of age approach me and said "Hi, I'm looking for shoes, for ladies. It's for my sister, she's turning 18 and I'm not quite sure what's popular for girls these days so I'm wondering if you could help me out a little bit?"

I was flabbergasted that I stood rooted to the ground for about 10mins. I think I can recognize how my expression was at that time.

So, I walked around and took the New Look's Antigua shoes which cost $69.90. I suggested him that because most of the girls were trying that heels on. Sadly, it was a little bit expensive so they decided to "let-it-go". Besides, the pair of heels is pretty, it has a sexy facade and it is undeniably elegant. To top it off, I want that heels.

Speaking of which, their boots are amazing. One of the new-arrivals boots cost $129, if I'm not mistaken. The other boots cost about $60 and above. Heels? They cost about $50 or less. Cool right?

Okay, I want to watch Paranormal Activity 2 now. So bye!

Visibly stupid.

2010-11-05T00:51:00.000-07:00

"Truth and tears clear the way to a deep and lasting friendship."

I'm sick :(

One bad news. Maybe I'm not attending work tomorrow. I'm working as if I'm a full-timer, which I'm not.

On the other hand, I hope Baby got the job.

Okay, so I found this cool website when I was playing "IT Girl" from Facebook. It's the $9.90 that attracts me.

At Lovelyspree, their clothings are very attractive. Especially their "off-shoulders" which I'm dying to buy but sadly, Baby won't let me wear them despite having one "off-shoulder" dress at home.

The "Nak classic elastic dress" is perfect for feminine girls. Their "Satin frill vice dress" is impressive too. Perfect for office wear :)

I love "Laces boyfriend blouse" because it is the perfect outfit when going on a date and "Lelestyle chiffon flora blouse" make you look sweeter.

I mean, check it out! It's nice, unique and stylish. It is more to Korean fashion but their apparels are indeed stunning.

Comments.

2010-11-02T00:27:00.000-07:00

"Service is what life is all about."
Marian Wright Edelman

Monday will be my off-day. Yay!

Anyway, tell me what you think of my header. I'll be back with some cool stuff to share next week, monday aight :D

Bye!

Butterflies in stomach.

2010-10-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

"We spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs: to want, to have, and to do."
Evelyn Underhill

Tomorrow, 11am. I can't wake that early during vacations. Oh well, Baby's meeting me at 8:30am so to keep me accompany and aid me with the butterflies in my stomach. Nervous alright. On the bright side, I'm working with Ee. Not literally with Ee but just.. the same? Okay, screw it.

What should I wear tomorrow? I'm still pondering on what theme suits interview best.

Cheated.

2010-10-24T21:53:00.000-07:00

"Experience is how life catches up with us and teaches us to love and forgive each other."
Judy Collins

For all this while, my family and I thought that our internet was cut off because the bills were overdue. Then again, if we were to look again, Starhub is upgrading their services which means that all connections will not be disrupted. My brother saved our butts by volunteering to pay the cable bills. And what's more irritating than after knowing that your cable was not cut off but our modem was having problems instead.

The Starhub guy will be coming tomorrow to repair our modem (a.k.a broken stupid black box) in the morning. And how did I get the connections? From my brother's broadband on mobile :)

He has his own stuff, but he does share certain things with us. I still am holding my promise about buying us a Ben&Jerry ice-cream. Trust me, it'll be years for me to buy them. I'm still jobless. October's almost ending, and I need an immediate job. I'm not so desperate for money, but I desperately want to go out. My mother told me that when I ensconce myself at home, I'll get dumber day by day. And I'm having the side-effects already. Even my English sounds so wrong after reading them umpteen times.

My mundane everyday routine is becoming perplexed recently. I'm not sure if I'm able to elaborate it. Apart from that, it is also undeniably boring.

Anyway, for those of you who thinks you are a Korean fan because nowadays the trend is about Korea all due to the Korean hit drama 'Boys over flowers', do watch 'Playful kiss' because it is a show not to be missed. I have watched it for almost a dozen times and I am gonna watch it again. If I'm not mistaken, it was based on a true story.

Recently, Kaksu bought 'Oh! My lady' DVD and received free notebook. I insisted her to give it to me because I simply love notebooks. When I was 12, I forced my mom into buying me 'The chronicles of Narnia' notebook too. Sounds lame, I get it.

Omo, it's been months since I watched 'Hidarime Tantei EYE'. And, I'm dying to know what's Hey! Say! Jump up to now. I mean, they've got to be having new hit singles right? Yamapi's making some, that's something very pleasant to hear.

Well, before I really go, please do watch 'Playful kiss' :)

Afa Baby.

2010-10-04T07:43:00.000-07:00

"We have before us the glorious opportunity to inject a new dimension of love into the veins of our civilization."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

My eyes can't stand it anymore. It's gonna shut anytime soon. I only managed to revise 1.56% of geography because I spend 3/4 of my time reading Twenties Girl that I borrowed from the library. It's a wonderful story. I'm a bookworm, so my apologies if I happen to blab about books.

Anyway, I'm still searching for Sherlock Holmes and Frankenstein books. I'm not sure where to find them. There might be one in a trillion. Or tera, which is __numbers__ x 10^12. Maths, okay cool.

Hey, let's do some standard form revision. Shall we?

Okay, write 234000 in standard form.

My answer: 2.34 x 10^5. Correct?

This is so much fun :)

Bye.

P/S: Hey, in case you haven't notice. My Baby is not your bestfriend anymore. Get over it! You're using 'em. Screw you.

Unfair.

2010-10-02T20:20:00.000-07:00

"Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."

Peter Ustinov

Notorious line; Friends come and go. I pretty much agree with this though. But even so, I'm sure I'm one of those who "come and go". To make it simple, everyone "come and go". My friends "come and go". It's already stated in everyone's forehead. Nobody's infallible, so it is a fact that everyone "come and go" too.

I'm just blabbing about how people get so fucked up when friends make mistakes. Face it, they make stupid mistakes too. So, why couldn't they just forgive? I'm very sure it's very hard to forget but what's more harder than forgiving, right? Everybody deserves chances, don't they? Even if it means infinity chances.

Okay, that aside. I'm on cloud nine so I'm here to share some good news. It's blatantly not relevant to something that happened recently - like you know, fashion that kind of stuff. So, the thing is, Chocolate is safe with Baby :)

Yay me! It cost us $137 for a repair. So it means $68.50 each. What's more, I have an overdue phone bill of about $84 to pay. Yes, I pay my own phone bill. Ee had hers paid by Kaksu. I'm tryna be independent you see. Sixteen, but independent. $84 for two months. That's not quite bad, don't you think? Yes, I didn't pay a single cent last month. Unfortunately, I'm only left with exactly $70 right now. How am I supposed to pay another $14? Hmm.. I'll work, of course.

Oh well, Mama's helping me to search for an apt job so to keep myself stable. I'm lucky, for now. Anyway, I'm craving for long john's. Anyone wants to tag along?

It did falls apart.

2010-09-29T21:30:00.000-07:00

“Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger

N-Levels coming. That sucks. And do you know what sucks the most? Having betrayal friends. I don't know what's up with them but honestly, I don't give a damn. But having them staring deep down at you, that really sucks a lot. Hey, it's not as if they're saint right? And don't tell me they've never done any misdemeanour? Then who in the world came up with "Nobody's infallible" when there's a few "angels" around?

Sometimes I feel the urge to poke their eyes with chopsticks. Handmade in Japan please! But I rather have people calling me coward than showing my whatever attitude which will give me signs of remorse and guilt at certain things. If I were a rich girl, this can be ameliorate soon, using money >.<

Okay, no joke. I was just kidding. My life does not suck recently, but having stupid friends like them really sucks. And because I'm in love with this cool sentence, I'm gonna use this notorious line which majority loves to say.

"Siapa yang makan lada, dialah yang rasa pedas."

Maybe that sounds better in English. Anyone keen to translate it for me? I'm not that good in my own language. Yeah, quite embarrassing :/

P/S: Someone's getting friendly. Frankly, I do miss her. A lot :(

Dead hope.

2010-09-27T20:57:00.000-07:00

"This is the true joy of life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one."
George Bernard Shaw

Multi-task is beneficial. You'll complete a few things at once, but of course, it's impossible. Ironically, I do believe that "Nothing is impossible" though. Anyway, I'm just trying to express my feelings out. I'm too oppress. Itinerary are irrevocable, which I must mention, is very irritating and it irks a portion of my heart.

Apart from that, I'm tired. Both physically and well.. emotionally. I detest it when someone does not take the word "promise" so seriously. Promise is a big word, for goodness sake!

I am so pissed off!

A dead girl's mind.

2010-09-26T17:21:00.000-07:00

“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.”
Desmond Tutu

I'm still stuck at episode 5 of Playful Kiss. N-Level is in a few days time and I absolutely can't pamper myself with Korean dramas for now, what more, Japanese dramas too! But if I have a connoisseur mother, I'm perfectly fine failing my N-Levels.

I know I shouldn't be blogging at this time of hour, but hey, ever heard of the word neurotransmitter? Well, it's was too sudden. A sudden feel of temptation to type is too strong to be avoided, don't you think?

Anyway, I've got nothing else to conclude so I'll just blab about my raya with friends - round one. It was an impromptu plan actually. There were several "open house(s)" so we decided to have a mini jalan raya with a few people. It's definitely a WOW star for me. Despite having lesser Dopes and Dolts, we're still THE rowdy D&D. I hope Tuesday's gonna be even more better.

Okay, I'm off to revise.

Brain damage.

2010-09-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

"Friendship is like a violin; the music may stop now and then, but the strings will last forever."

Hello :D Weeee ~

Finally, I get to eat the scrumptious nasi ayam black pepper and wanton noodles from mr.teh tarik. I bought nasi ayam black pepper while Baby bought wanton noodles. In the end, I had to finish up Baby's dish because he claimed that it was too spicy -.-"

Honestly, it wasn't. Okay, maybe I'm a "spicy freak" because I love spicy dish; and when it's not spicy, I'll put my Mom's most yummiest sambal belacan chili padi. Wow!

Yesterday, I went out with my family for raya. Put on fantastic amount of make-ups and goodness gracious, heavy eyelashes. In the end, I took out the eyelashes and wash out the make-ups because natural beauty is much more prettier. I'm not a big fan of make-up so that specifically explains why I had to ask someone to put them on for me. And from now on, no make-ups for me.

That aside. What does head ache with nose blocked and keeps on vomiting means? I'm sure it's nothing serious, right? Hmm..

P/S: I want to eat long johns. I know Baby's gonna accompany me. Maybe I'll invite Baby's friend this time. The other friends are just.. Friends? HAHA!

A new term.

2010-09-13T19:35:00.000-07:00

"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really is!"
Ali Nitka

Stanley gave a feedback about my blog. I'm not quite sure whether it's negative or positive though. But I'm quite sure I'm neither using thesaurus nor a dictionary to make it all look perplexed. Whatever vocabulary that happens to cross my mind, then I'll use it. Sometimes if you're really lucky, I might not even use those bombastic words.

I've got bad news. Really bad. My phone died because Baby gave it a hard slam at the edge of the table. I was really shocked but I told myself to calm down. Luckily, Baby's gonna help me by sending Chocolate to the "hospital".

In a more specific way, Baby (Afa) is going to help me repair Chocolate (my phone; it's real name is J'adore Chika-san but since it's cute I've decided on Chocolate instead. Heeeee ~) by sending it to LG repair outlet, which I think is located at Tampines. It's "health booklet" (warranty card, of course) is all prepared. I am gonna pass it to Baby tomorrow and he is going to help save Chocolate's life.

"Ya Allah, tolong selamatkan telefon bimbitku, Chocolate, ini. Walaupun Chocolate bukan dibeli oleh titisan peluhku sendiri tetapi ia amat bermakna dalam hidup aku, begitu juga dengan Sayang. Tolong selamat kan kedua-dua sayangku ini. Amin.

Dear God, please help me save my handphone, Chocolate's, life. Even though Chocolate was bought not from my own hard work, it is still something very valuable with regards to my life, just like how much I love Baby. Please save both of my loved ones. Amin."

I know it's a bit dramatic, but I had to cry because my love is hurt. I am lucky this time Baby's willing to help. I have to survive a week or two without a phone. Well, I can survive. I did survived a year without a phone.

P/S: I saw Shiping's boyfriend today.

P/S: Gonna have a date with Afa, Hawa, Heikal and a few others at mr.teh tarik. We must go, since Hawa promised me that we'll eat there ever since the fasting month.

2010-09-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

"At the center of nonviolence stands the principle of love."
Martin Luther King, Jr

Selamat Hari Raya to all the Muslim people.

Now, its 9:16pm and I'm guessing that everyone is still wandering around houses to houses, celebrating Hari Raya. Well, not me. I'm enjoying my time, relaxing at home.

We did went out though. But from 12 noon, to 4pm. Heeeee :D

I miss Afa badly. It's gonna be another two days of not meeting him. Two days = no energy. Bleargh ~

Addicted with admiration

2010-09-04T21:49:00.000-07:00

Love's greatest gift is its ability to make everything it touches sacred.
"Barbara De Angelis"

I found a message that I saved in my sim-card folder. It was a message from Afa, not long ago. I couldn't stop smiling because his words did melt my heart. True to what Hawa said, Afa is a lovable person.

What I really want to do before I die is I want to show how big is my love for Efah. I want to see her sweet smile every day. I want to marry her and have childrens. I sanggup sacrifice anything kecuali relantionship kita je. I cume nak u tahu that I nak buat u happy tapi I tak tahu. I LOVE U EFAH, I REALLY DO :)

It is so sweet of him.

Euphoria, because I'm in love.

2010-09-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

"A life lived in love will never be dull."
Leo Buscaglia

Happy 1st Anniversary Baby!

Muhammad Afa Nazrul Shah, also known as Kid Afa.

As I took a glimpse of the past, I feel that we have gone through a lot - be it hardships or laughters - together. I still couldn't believe we made it here. Time really do pass by so quickly. And when it does, my love for you never fails to brew bigger and bigger. However, a real relantionship is not real when it has no fued. And when we have those misunderstanding, I couldn't resist the temptation to tell you that I will never let you go no matter what happens. When you told me how deep and how far your love is for me, I can't help myself but to dance around because I was on cloud nine. You see, I really treasure us and I'm willing to do anything to save our relantionship from this particular someone who desperately want us to end it. I'm not gonna let that happen, and I know you'll be there to make it happen. It needs two hands to clap, right?

On 3rd September 2009, you were really very nervous when you've decided to proposed to me to be your other half. Your gestures were very visible that you made me feel very nervous too. At that time, the tension between us increased. I didn't know what your reason was, but I'm definitely gonna tell you mine. The reason as to why I kept quiet the whole hour was because I couldn't make the right decisions. I wanted you all along, I did everything I could just to get your attention. And when I already got the chance, I'm confused. I wasn't sure why. A plethora of things were swimming across my mind that threatened me with fear because I was really scared to face the future. Luckily, I followed my ego. Since I am so egoistic and I never want you to be someone else's other half, I have to get you right at that moment.

As we were walking along the pavement, my mind was preparing a little speech so I could regurgitate whatever was on my mind with mellifluous voice. When I couldn't take it any longer, I've decided to spew the words out because all I want was to see smiles on your face as you were frowning the whole time. I got to know you wanted to hear my confessions once again because you thought it was reverie. I had to reiterate sheepishly, bleargh ~

Frankly, I was happy for what I did. It was tough yet a wise decision made. Days after days past and I find myself in agitation because I've been keeping our relantionship a secret to my friends. I decided to blurt it out when our first monthsary was drawing near. Yes, it was a tough secret. Since the secret was out, I've been trying to "show you off" to my friends, indirectly. I wanted to tell everyone that you're mine; you belong to me. I guess it succeeded because NO GIRLS did try to get your attention or secretly flirt with you, except it occured once right before my eyes. This year, the secret between our relantionship was revealed and the class of 413 knew. They weren't surprised because they've suspected us since the day we were closed. And I officially declared our relantionship through blogger too >.<

Baby, I never thought this day might come. You and I have never had a real relantionship that could last for 12 months. Honestly, I'm glad we made it through here. Despite the small misunderstanding we had yesterday, you still did left a mark of love on my heart and put smiles on my face, and pamper me with everything I want altogether. Yesterday was a fabulous day because my loved ones were there to spice up the moment albeit we didn't get to celebrate our anniversary together.

Thank you for bringing me to the right path and chipped in happiness to my life. You aid me with things I'm never good at. You got jealous when I'm close with certain boys, but that's okay because honey, that's love. I appreciate your sacrifices and all that you've done.

Baby, Happy 1st Anniversary. I love you sooooooooooooooooooooo much! May our relantionship last till death do us part. Amin.

I would love to thank Zura, Hawa, Choo, Tasha, Nurul, Fidi, Daryl and lastly BABY for the wish. My apologies if I did not mention anyone else.

A very big mistake.

2010-08-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

"The only thing that lasts longer than a friend's love is the stupidity that keeps us from knowing any better"
Randy K. Milholland

I'm having phobia. I'm allergic to being apologetic. Suddenly, capitalizing rules! A pathetic belief, I know.

Forget that, point is I'm going to study hard for N's and temporarily avoid in contact with facebook and blogger. I can't but I'll try. So much for a bright future. See ya!

They're dead.

2010-08-22T01:21:00.000-07:00

"First love is a little foolish and a lot of curiosity."
George Bernard Shaw

It's easier to be organized.

14th August 2010.

Happy birthday Yaya!

I'm sorry I couldn't attend your party even when I desperately want too. I'll make it up to you if I have the time alright. From what I've heard, there's a Hello Kitty store somewhere around Singapore. Plus, I'll treat you to a nice cool Sticky. But of course, I'm only available after N's. That aside, thanks for listening to my sorrows all this while. I'm glad to have known someone like you. I've got nothing more in my mind, but just be happy with your life.

20th August 2010.

Happy birthday Nana :D

May all your best wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavours too ^.^
I missed eating lunch together with you and Afa, and purposely offering Afa our cotton candy :)
Have a splendid time on your birthday, AND may you be blessed with love from family. Happy birthday, once again :D

21st August 2010.

Happy birthday Fyra!

Thanks for all your advices. Even though I may find you very weird but you and Yaya are just the perfect people to look for, especially when in doubts. Thanks for everything, I appreciate everything you've done for me. Apart from that, my apologies if I'd ever make you feel irritated or simply annoyed. May you have the best birthday, Fyra. Happy birthday :D

Frankly, I am never good in wishing people a happy birthday. Even if I try my hardest, the only sentences I could come up with are just "May all your best wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavours too!". I envy my friends who are professionally good in wishing people and bring laughter to their bright smiles.

Specially for the Special.

2010-08-15T09:06:00.000-07:00

"Let the God decorate each golden ray of the sun reaching you with wishes of success, happiness and prosperity for you, wish you a super duper happy birthday."

Happy 16th Birthday Hanisah Choo :)

May all your best wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavours too! Sending you my biggest apology because I couldn't attend your celebration the other day, but hopefully you'll enjoy it tomorrow. Have a nice day :)

Happy 1st Birthday Ra'id Saif :)

Now little boy, get well soon alright. Aunty will bathe with you in the pool again, some other time of course. Aww, my cute nephew. Get well soon!

It's a theory.

2010-08-14T16:37:00.000-07:00

"Man is a knot into which relationships are tied."
Antoine de Saint

Basically, new skins means new everything. It's all about changing :)
I am very satisfied.

Comment on this alright? Thanks!

2010-08-06T18:06:00.000-07:00

"You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough."

I promised my brain that I will feed 'em knowledge by revising. Well, I'm just so laaaaaazy. I need something very cooling so that I can embark on my revision faster. Besides that, I need a nice table and a comfortable chair to help me focus and concentrate better. Unfortunately, I do not own any of those. Just now, I had to force my brains to work and it took me few hours to get everything done and settled. Why? Well, I was distracted with something else and I find it hard to put myself in my friend's shoes. The sentences I gave wasn't up to my standard though. That was just what I could think of. I spend most of my time wondering about my adversity which is somewhat perplexed. At times, I think that it's easier for me to let it go away. Everything is topsy-turvy now.

I've decided to write an essay but I still have not decide what title I'm gonna give. It's regarding mentality and stress, or anything of that sort actually. Some may find it grotesque because I only talk about issues related to depression and mentality between two different genders. I will sound preposterous when I say I only started writing two complete sentences about my essay. It's not entirely my fault though. I have a busy itinerary and I need to study 5 hours a day. Not only is it very tiring, but it is also very mundane because you have to go through these huge boring life again. I wanted to express how my life has been into a book. Might also known as autobiography. Of course it won't be as similar of that a book.

People, believe me when I say that I fall asleep, in the midst of composing this -.-"
Okay, I'm sure I'm supposed to end this. My eyes are almost dying, they need to rest.

2010-07-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

“It's especially difficult when siblings leave the nest and grow into their own person, often apart from other siblings and parents. The ones we shared so much with growing up we suddenly have nothing in common with, it seems.”

Before I begin my revision on geography, I would like to show the food I cooked not long ago. Ee helped me, and we decided to name it "Udang campak-campak". Basically, we just throw whatever things we find in the kitchen into the wok. Apart from that, I told Ee that I want it to be spicy. So, it appears to be bloody red ^.^

Well, it tasted better than it looks.

Anyway, on 21st July 2010, my family celebrated my mother's birthday. My mother was born on the 21st July 1964, where Singapore has it's Maria Hertogh riot. I find it scary and thrilling. Brrrrrrrr ~

2010-07-19T23:27:00.000-07:00

"Action speaks louder than words."

Certain things can be label as "fun", but still not everything is fun. Neither is it funny. Communications are always the key to solve every problems/matters, be it minor or major. Sometimes, it does not matter whose wrong or whose right, if you feel that the relantionship with you and "just simply whoever" is important, you will feel the need to talk because the only thing that matters is you and that particular person. Don't take things too lightly, and don't take things for granted. So Ee, remember this yeah. Be strong to lift yourselves up, don't let your fears bring you down. It's okay to throw some tantrum, because it shows how much you don't want someone to take advantage of you.

A plethora of recent news are clustered in my head and I can somewhat feel my brain running to and fro, working as hard as a bee. They are either looking for certain reasonable advices, or just helping me to create sentences. There might be more, but now I can only think of just two. Now, the only problem I have is, to think what I should wear tomorrow for Racial Harmony Day's celebration. It is nerve-racking to wear your ethnic costume in school. I don't know why but I feel so shy (and nervous too). I love showing off my own ethnic costume because I, myself, find it very alluring. I was awed when I witnessed many of my Chinese friends asking for Malay's ethnic costume especially in facebook.

Personally, I'm excited for tomorrow's event. Obviously not for the activities that the teachers organize but for the colorful costumes everyone's gonna wear (or at least, some). The only thing I look up to during Racial Harmony Day in school is where every races come together as one, play together and have fun.

Now, I am going to pray whatever happened in the past, won't repeat itself. I am very sure D&D would know what I'm talking about -.-"

Now, I'm worrying for the fact that Baby hasn't be trying his best to contact me :(
I am seriously worried sick, and have been wondering for the past few hours, thinking where would he be and what is he doing in the middle of the night? It is clear enough that tomorrow is Tuesday and of course, it is blatantly a school day. Ya Allah, where might he be?

I need someone to accompany me in the night, while waiting for his calls or maybe replies. My heart sank everytime the light from above reflect from my phone to my eyes. I thought it was Baby. My expectations slipped off a lot of times. That is saddening though.

"Oh dear, where are you?"

2010-07-17T17:54:00.000-07:00

"What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."
Jewish Proverb

Sometimes, I suddenly feel that I'm facing the world alone again. With no one else supporting behind, I have to keep looking forward and take a step towards the horizon that represents my bright, really very sophisticated and prestigious future. Sometimes, I had to stop and tie my shoe knot back into place before I continue on my steps again. The moment I had to stop, is the moment I don't want to go through. I find full of unpleasant memories and when I insert every strings into the respective holes, the inner shoe gets darker and it scares me while the outter part keeps getting brighter. What does this mean?

Every time I made a mistake, my heart feels heavier. I didn't feel remorseful when it all ended, but still my heart stays the same. The weight is heavy and when gravity is pulling it down, it gets painful to the extent where I had to cry in indication of persuading gravity to let it go and give me few chances before I really opt for something reasonable and somewhat, very realistic.

As I lay on my bed, trying to think over my mistakes again, I know I couldn't stop laughing because it is somehow chaostic (because everyone has their own perspectives on how they judge things, so yeah >.<). I find myself very funny at times, because I tend to laugh at myself for being doolally. Maybe, I do have an interesting life and truth to be told, I do have a positive mindset, but it may vary.

2010-07-15T21:35:00.000-07:00

"Similarities create friendship's while differences hold them together."

Don't waste your lies on me, you'll never know when it'll all turn mundane again. Fresh new gossips are wasted in the end. Don't waste your breath.

Well, true to what Nurul said. I did sympathize her, only if I look at her at a certain angle - which of course, is very seldom because most of the time I'll end up making sure she'll "lose face" - and focus onto her socio-background, of course. If some minority would prefer to know, she is living a very SAD life. Yes, I agree. She may seem as though she's enjoying her life to the fullest but deep down her heart (SERIOUSLY, WHY DO I SYMPATHIZE HER AND TALK ABOUT HER FAMILY BACKGROUND WHEN SHE BLABBERMOUTH-ED ME?!?!) there's something wrong. I know it, I just know it. Sadly, my heart is so heavy for me to forget what pathetic immature and unsophisticated acts she did.

Too bad though, this time round, I will forgive you but NEVER to forget what you've done to me. Haisssh..
How am I supposed to continue concentrating on my N-Levels when you're trying to disturb me in a way or another. You may not know but your presence really helps by creating a new problem, don't you know that? You're as weird as ever -.-"

Oh well, who to blame besides her than just her, right? Phhft, haha! I've got a coooooooooooooooooooool Maths topic to do, it's homework by the way. -.-" Pathetic, phhft! Gotta get it done, by hook or by crook (I detest saying this because somehow, it's common. Plus, it don't match my sentences everytime. But, what am I supposed to do? It's english. Sucks!!) Oooooh, I love simultaneous equation. I sound exactly like a nerd. BUT the coolest nerd you'll ever find.

"Sayonara, tomodachi"

I love this, do you? Hmm..

2010-06-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

"I am only one; but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. I will not refuse to do the something I can do."
Helen Keller

I'm tired today. It was indeed a domino-effect problem - one after another. What saddens me the most was I had to stay strong even when I really needed a shoulder. Just one, not all. I was not in the mood for everything, even for fun. I'm sorry to my friends for the shits I gave.

So, I was engrossed watching the cheerleaders practicing their routines untill one sudden news knocked me back to reality. I don't need to fake, I know I'm sad and I must not lie. I was glum throughout the whole time everyone else were busy chatting. Indeed true friends are hard to find and impossible to forget. No, I'm not saying that I've found a true friend. I'm just saying that indeed, true friends are hard to find. They are one in a million. Alhamdulilah, everything's okay now. I'm still sad though, not of what had happened, but of why wasn't there any shoulders. I know, that's life. Live with it -.-"

I am going to put the sad part aside. This is what I call ... EXCITING!

The cheerleaders' are named Wildcards. Cool and classic :)

Their uniforms seems to have helped define the Wildcards even more. There were symbols of cards on the skirts/pants. Today, there were only 4 girls, the rest were boys. I couldn't remember how much people were there in total. I personally fell in love with their performance. They were good. I envied the flyers, they were awesome. Well, for all I know, Wildcards are awesome. No other words to actually describe them. And do check out them on youtube, I just did and I saw familiar faces too >.<

Fidi did took a video of them, I'll try to pester her to upload it somewhere so you could watch them. Alright?

Now, a lesson everyone must learn.

Everyone agrees that practice makes perfect, right? Now, I know I might over-react with what had happened but I need to make it clear to ALL. This affects me, and I'm sure, it's gonna affect some too. So, don't act.
I'm sure many of you have experienced when a friend of yours criticised a particular group in your school. Be it CCA, be it friends, basically just anything. For an example, I'm sure everyone knows that babies learn faster because they are growing. But grown-up don't expect them to know how to read, write and spell just after a few practises, right? I'm sure, you'll make the baby practise a few more times untill he/she knows how to, right? Now, let's put that theory to somewhere even higher. Let's say, cheerleading for example. You don't expect a newbie to be a professional cheerleader by just a few practises, right? They need to learn the safety, and anything of that sort. Okay, now pretend you are a newbie. You want to know how to cheer, how to lead the crowd. The day of your performance, crowds seems to be expecting more from you. Example, they expect you to fly up and when gravity pulls you down, there's someone down there, waiting to catch you fall. But you only knew the basics, because that's just it, you're a newbie, you don't know a single shit.

So, that's when the fire will start spreading. Crowds will jeer you on, because you're off NO STANDARD! What they don't realise is, you're just a baby to cheerleading. You know nothing, and when you know nothing, people criticise you. They don't know that cheerleading needs practises. They need to know the safety to cheerleading. Cheerleaders need to have good grades. Even if you're a baby to cheerleading, you ARE having that standard. Try asking someone whose nothing better than you. They'll fail, because not only they do not know the safety, they don't even know what BACKSPOT or BASE or even FLYER means. So please, think before ever criticising about our school's cheerleading team. Doesn't matter who you are. A sin is still a sin.

Okay, I'm done here. Sorry to whoever it may concern, I'm not being sarcastic. I'm only sharing what I think is appropriate.

2010-06-23T14:32:00.000-07:00

"Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope."
Tom Head

Jojo's song Underneath has been stucked in my head eversince it was released. Shaza heard it before, cause she said Jojo suddenly turned silent. I may not be a big fan of the English music industry, but I sure a big fan of Jojo. Only Jojo.

School is starting next week to all primary and secondary students. Like what Nurul said, it's back to square one. Endless homeworks, naggings and revision. I personally feel that the lower secondary are taking advantage of the holidays. They have holidays, I don't. I have school, not just remedial but school. Real school, with timetables. But this time, it sure ends late. Really late.

If I'm not mistaken, next term will be the start of night study. For me, I need night study because I usually spend my night facing the computer untill the next day. I know I need to temporarily stop untill the end of N-Level. Shit, it's only 2 months' time. I SCARED :(

Speaking of which, I shouldn't be ditching my books. Sorry peeps, I need knowledges ^^,

June Peoples.
2nd June 2010 19th June 2010 22nd June 2010 24th June 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERNY, FIDI, SHAZA AND ANGELO!
May all your best wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavours too :) All the best for your N-Levels.

A few days ago, Choo took photographs of herself. Nurul and Kid were sleeping, but not that bad though. Choo and I were bored, so we found something to kill ... US! Haha, yeah.

2010-06-12T14:29:00.000-07:00

"A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out."
Grace Pulpit

Good afternoon World :)
I know that it is very rare for me to greet out of the blue. Yes, I'm on cloud nine. Well, I'm very excited about the outing on 18 June because basically, my clan - D&D - will congregate and have some splendid time together. Everything should go as planned!

This should be the very last outing before our N-Level's. Maybe there's gonna be a few after our N-Level's.

Ahh, I've not eaten since breakfast. I need food, my stomach needs digestions.
"Toodles" Fidi's favorite word ^^,

2010-06-05T22:01:00.000-07:00

"Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring - quite often the hard way."
Pamela Dugdale

Art class was from 8am to 12 noon. Saa, Shaf, Nurul and me were excited. The D&D clan congregate to have some fun time together. But, that's not the point. The point is, I took photographs together with Shaf :)

Today was awesome!

2010-05-29T16:17:00.000-07:00

“It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.”

Have you guys heard of Michelle Phan? Yes? No?

Basically Michelle Phan is a professional make-up artist found on youtube. I may be one of the 9% out of 100 who do not favour make-ups but it's not illegal to compliment such a talented person, right?

Even though everyone has their different perspectives, I believe they acumen the intentions Michelle Phan is trying to tell. She is very talented in arts. She uses her creativity on human's faces. She transform them to make-ups, which I think is very rare. Not many uses their ability to do something as rare as this.

Her tutorial seems as though she is a perfectionist and her make-ups seems infallible to my eyes. Her magniloquent descriptions helps viewer to understand better. Not only she thinks of her popularity, she also thinks of her viewers and their enquiries. She takes the initiative to upload another video if it ever goes wrong.

Well, I have said enough. I should let you all enjoy the videos she uploaded. Her tutorial is the best. Enjoy.

There is a plethora of videos uploaded by her with different tutorial theme. Do watch it at youtube :)

Other than make-up tutorial, I watch nail polish tutorial too. Still, I do not favour nail polish but ironically, it is fun to watch how talented people show off their creativity.

I recently watch Kimora's fabulous life. So far, we (we refers to my siblings and I) only owned a pair of Baby Phat's high-cut shoes. Believe me when I say her jackets are to die for. I need to do a little bit of self-gratification before I complete my drawings.

2010-05-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow-ripening fruit.”
Aristotle

First and foremost,

Happy 15th Birthday, Nana :)

May all your best wishes and dreams come true, and may you succeed in your future endeavours too! Hope you're enjoying this special day.

Next.

I seriously need to pamper with yoghurt like Frolick.

2010-05-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

“Sometimes i want to shout to the whole world how lucky i am to have you as my friend but sometimes i want to hush...afraid that somebody might take you away from me.”

Today, I am going to vent my anger here regarding the Geography paper I took this morning. No, it wasn't difficult because I obviously studied for it day and night. No, it wasn't because I was sick.

I WAS INFURIATED WITH HOW COMPLICATING THE QUESTIONS WERE!!

Geography has never been so complicated to understand before. With that, I didn't attempt the questions. Don't worry, I'm gonna buck up soon enough. Geography is one of my favorite subjects, so I'm not gonna disappoint myself by failing.

Choo, when are we going to buy hair accessories again? I found a Hello Kitty product which I am dying to purchase. >.<

Purchase Japanese food too kaaaaay?

I miss the outing we had. When will our next outing be? Let's visit our memories again and pamper ourselves with the same food; Ice-cream, 2 Curry'O and 1 fried chicken >.<

Memories are so wonderful. I wonder, will I get to keep good memories this year?

2010-05-13T17:22:00.000-07:00

Perhaps the most delightful friendships are those in which there is much agreement, much disputation, and yet more personal liking.
- George Eliot

Since everyone knows that Afa and I are officially together. Yes, thanks to this VERY SPECIAL teacher who, out of the blue, intentionally used Afa and (my name) as an example for her Chemistry explanation.

Like ah, so tak perlu okay.

I need to let out few things to ease my mind for a while before I get back to Geography. But on the bright side, the other facts are still not known to some.

I really miss those times we spent together. Watching scary movies together (Paranormal activity, Santau and Prom Night), walked through Bugis. Omg, accompany Nurul to purchase her inconsequential items. Yes, that was very tiring.

I'm not like those other girls who would kill their legs for sprees. Okay, I would but I'll stop in between. My backbone is much more important. My wants aren't needed, my needs are vital.

I remembered when we bought a plethora of foods and drinks, and sat down at Vivo City. I let him tried an ice-cream located at Vivo while he introduced to Curry'O from OCK :)

Oh, my favorite moments was when we criticised almost everyone we knew. That includes, D&D, some of our past friends and well, yeah family. What I really like about us, is that we do things like bestfriends, care for each other like siblings, best of all, love each other just like husband and wife. Awwwwww :D

Yes, too emotional. That's my initial motive anyway. Sometimes, I reminiscene and I started to miss everything. I miss my family (so ironic, I stay under one roof with them), Afa, D&D, my two other bestfriends; Maryani & Azura, my cousins, MY NEPHEW (LIKE OMG, HE IS SOOOOO CUTE!!!!!) and, I miss me.

Okay, I miss my old attitude to be specific and precise soooo no one would think I'm self-obsessed -.-"

I'd recommend for most people to think outside the box.

Well, it's time for me to hit the books again. I mean, literally hit the books again >.<

One more thing before I go. Nazz and I agreed to; Babies talk, grown-ups mumbles. Anyone else wants to join in? Let's debate too, HAHA!

I LOVE U, KID. A ~

2010-05-08T23:16:00.000-07:00

“There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.”
Carl Jung

Have you ever created something precious? Have you ever see it fall onto someone elses hands? Have you ever lose it? Have you ever feel that someone has taken over your creation? Have you ever tried to snatch it back because you feel what's yours have to be with you?

If your answers are yes to all questions, then congratulations.

Does it ever occured to you that if you are always suffering in silence, it'll effect your whole self-esteem? Well, that's what a friend of mine shared with me. Why is it so hard for you to let the pain you're feeling out from your heart and wash the dust? Why can't you be strong when a chip on your shoulder keeps bothering you? Contrary to what others might agree; A leopard can't change it's spot. I personally think that you can when you are strong enough to feel that you are what you eat.

Well, it proved a point to me.

2010-05-06T16:01:00.000-07:00

The Grand essentials of happiness are: something to do, something to love, and something to hope for.
- Allan K. Chalmers.

I have not been a very good person lately. I've forgotten to wish my friend's birthday on blog (I do this very often) which happens to fall on 24th of April. I didn't really study my Chemistry in school, infact I was making my stomach burst together with Shasha.

Now, let me do this.

Happy Birthday Nurul.
Though it may be almost few weeks later, but I'm sure it's never too late for anything.

So, may all your best wishes and dreams come true. May you succeed in your future endeavours and throw away problems that are gonna affect you in almost everything that is possible to bring yourselves down.

It is very embarrassing to have wish your friend's birthday too late.

So anyway, Baby accompanied me back home. On our way out to school, he blurted out something really shocking. I couldn't laugh, nor could I even speak correctly. I only managed to let out a smirk, which is to indicate half of my happiness. But then again, it must have been a sad news to 'em (I ain't gonna mention any names here, cause I feel it is too confidential).

So anyway, what I'm gonna say issssssss......
Never take the ones you love for granted. Never be too confident in what you are cause you might end up being labelled as the bad influence with bad attitude. See, even if you think you are pretty or someone else compliments you for being pretty, don't get up so high. Just thank them, there's nothing to show off.

Maybe there's others who is infact much more uglier than you, but at least they are prettier on the inside. Being pretty and standing up tall doesn't make you be "The Everything". It is what's inside that matters, alot! Like I've said, treasure. Treasure your families, your friends. Basically, treasure the ones you love. You'll never know when they'll leave you, and when they do, never regret.

2010-05-02T18:58:00.000-07:00

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein.

Cool?

Rai have just finished bathing. And, seriously. This is not my free time.

2010-04-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

The affections are like lightning: you cannot tell where they will strike till they have fallen.
- Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

I went home early yesterday, around 9am. Nurul sent me off to the security gates and Kaksu fetched me from the school bus stop. I had a long rest, then I went down to the clinic. Teacher said mumps, Mother said pulse and Doctor said swollen pimples. So, who did I believe? None of the above. I ignored them and just apply whatever cream on the pimple itself because I was thinking of recovering. Apart from that, I was having a slight fever. Big deal!

I was told not to walk under the sun, because the cause of my pimples might be from the heat. I was told not to eat chocolates, SPICY FOOD (I couldn't survive without eating at least one spicy food!) and oily food. I was adviced to eat fruits and vegetables. Well, I am a big fan of fruits but vegetables? Please!

Paling-paling, kacang panjang, kangkong dengan bean sprout. Yang lain, langsung tak sedap.
Since I was alone at home, I decided to do a little bit of chores. Decided to do a little bit of revisions, but sadly I'm not allowed. Need plenty of rest -.-"
Now, the cream I've been applying on my face seems to be futile. I could still feel the numbness of my cheeks.

AHH, I'm exhausted.

I reckon you cared, because to you, winning is everything. You are not being fair.

[Org lain takmo terase kay? Sesiape terase, oppsy too bad lah. :)]

2010-04-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose.
- Tennessee Williams

Things have been happening real bad lately. I will not mention most of it, obviously. To make it a lil interesting; slyboots are on the lose. Those slyboots are extremely adroit, sometimes even I couldn't help it but to detest them. Many are affected with the rumours that's been spread. Why such cruelty? Malefactors are to be jailed for they have dupe the innocence!

Now that aside, mid-year's coming. Yes, a very big "SHIT" blatantly appears on my forehead which is to indicate that examinations sucks, BIG TIME! Coincidentally, G and I, both are trying hard to try and pass our mid-year's examination. Why, to those kpos who wants to know. Well, our principal made an eloquent about how immense mid-year can be. Students are able to receive direct poly courses with the aid from the Secondary 4 mid-year examination. Now, that's what I'm gonna strive for.

Left 2 more weeks. Sadly, I've not started with the revisions just yet.

2010-04-13T18:51:00.000-07:00

A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.

I am having just minor headaches. I have been having headaches - either minor or critical - eversince last year but ironically, I'm not sick nor am I oppressed. Well, this headaches are blatantly inevitable but it also distract me from trying to ensconce myself. It excrete the immense pain that I blatantly couldn't fight, even though its just a minor one -.-"

I guess I have to bear the incessant pain running in my head and ignite the itinerary that can't be avoided in any chance.

2010-04-11T16:31:00.000-07:00

My Treasured Friend

Treasured friend, I’m glad I found you;
Our friendship is a gift we share.
I can be myself around you,
Safe in your love and care.

I miss you when you’re out of sight;
Our friendship bond was meant to be.
I think of you with great delight;
You’re almost part of me.

Through fun and fears, play and tears,
We help each other heal and grow.
I prize our time--the days, the years,
More than you can know.

Just harmony for me and you,
The two of us--a perfect blend.
I’ll cherish you my whole life through,
My dear and treasured friend.

By Joanna Fuchs

Congratulations to the Ping Yi Marching Band for winning Gold on yesterday's SYF Competition.